Hello and goodbye... :-)

I can't believe I haven't posted in here since April! Life has just been flying by since I hit my goal weight.

Currently I weigh 152 pounds - but that fluctuates daily. Sometimes I am 154; other times I get down to 151 (my lowest weight). Regardless, it's all good and I am so, so, so happy with my results! Sure, I want plastic surgery but, all in all, it's just amazing.

I guess once I hit goal, I felt like Melissa's Transformation was complete in many ways. Sure there have been times I wanted to post, but I never did for some reason. I've come to realize that I am ready for the next phase of my journey - and a new blog.

So, with this said, I would like to officially announce that this blog is now complete. Looking back on all the writings, I realize I sure have come a long, long way. All the fears, all the anxiety and all the what-ifs are now calmed. After months of wondering what will happen, I now know how the story of Melissa's Transformation ends.

• After years of being obese, Melissa is now finally a healthy weight.
• Melissa is no longer held back by 100-plus of excess pounds.
• Melissa feels good and doesn't dread going to the doctor.
• Melissa doesn't dwell on or stress about her weight anymore, nor does she constantly feel self-conscious about her size.
• Melissa doesn't have to worry if she is going to fit in a booth, get major anxiety about try to squeeze into an airplane seat or feel like crying in the dressing room at Lane Bryant.
• In fact, for the first time in her life, Melissa likes the way she looks in clothes, absolutely LOVES shopping and still stares at the size 8 and size Small tags in her clothes every time she puts them on.
• Melissa now gets to share her story of hope with others who feel hopeless, and she is now tackling a new job with a new company filled with people who didn't know her at 324 pounds.
• Melissa is finally at peace with her weight and feels incredibly liberated from all that excess weight on her body.
• Melissa is so grateful to God for giving her a true do-over in life and for allowing her to finally experience life in a normal-size body.

With all this, though, comes a new world and new issues to tackle. Just because you are no longer obese it doesn't mean all the issues that accompanied it are gone too. Which is why I wanted to start a new blog. I won't spoil it by talking about here. You'll just have to come see me there. :-)

Here is the link. NOTE: Be sure to start at the bottom:

http://undercoverfatgirl.blogspot.com/

THANK YOU GOD for guiding me on this journey and giving me so many incredible results!!!!!!!! I am forever grateful.

Post-Op Day 466: My official "at goal" photos!

I reached my goal of weighing 159 pounds on Friday. Actually I surpassed it and weighed 156.5! Today I weigh 157, so my body is getting situated as usual. Regardless, I am finally a normal BMI! It doesn't seem real at all.

While I do want to lose down to 148 so I have some room to play when I have the dreaded "bounce back" weight, I can honestly say that if I stayed this weight forever, I believe I would be absolutely thrilled!

Below are some photos taken of me today. I will call them my official "at goal" photos. I still feel self-conscious about my belly but you know what - I think I look pretty damn good otherwise to have lost 167 pounds! haha

In the photos I am wearing a size medium sweater, a size SMALL tank top and size 8 jeans - my first ever size 8!!








Baby's still got back...and thighs!


Showing off...hehe


Thank you to all who have supported me along this way. I have to give special thanks to my husband Scott, who has been my number 1 supporter through it all! I love that man more than he will ever know! He has been my rock, my mirror when I struggled to see the new me and my voice of sanity. He is such a blessing.

I also have to thank my parents and Granny who believed in me and brag on me.

I am so blessed to have an incredible amount of friends who have supported me through, literally, thick and thing. A special shoutout goes to my bypass twin Diana. Talk about a total inspiration. She has helped keep me on the straight and narrow through her words and just by example as I watch the way she approaches her surgery. I love you Diana!

Also to thank profusely are my friends Liz, Donna, Linda, Toni and Deb. They have cheered me on through the months and been so positive - especially when I needed to hear it.

Then of course to recognize are the most incredible team members I could ever ask for at work, as well as all my work friends all over NASA. Day in and day out they have kept me going strong. I am so blessed to work with such amazing people who truly have cared about me and my success.

I can't go without saying that I am deeply indebted to the many, many wonderful people I have met in my vast support group network - the one for Memorial Hermann Memorial City Hospital which is run by the most incredible woman named Kimberly; the one I formed at work with the kindest, most loving people ever and the Obesity Help Message Board with the most inspiring people I could have ever met!

Of course, it goes without say that I am forever indebted to Dr. Adam Naaman who truly has hands blessed by God. Dr. Naaman is a phenomenal surgeon with the biggest heart. I am so lucky I moved to Houston so that I could receive the best care available.

Finally, I want to thank God above all. I was so afraid but He carried me through. I had doubts but He carried me through. I couldn't see where I was heading but He carried me through. This journey is wonderful but it is grueling at times - especially emotionally. Yet day after day, time and time again - He carried me through. And I trust He will continue to do so.

God has been so good to me and I never ever want to take that for granted. To be delivered from Super Morbid Obesity has been a miracle I never dreamed would ever happen to me. I will forever share my story and help those who come after me because of the grace I have been given. Thank You God. I love You!

Post-Op Day 461: Trusting that change is happening... (with photos)

I sent this e-mail to a group of friends who all are in some phase of a weight-loss journey. I thought I would post it here for anyone else who might be struggling with patience.

One of my friends who had gastric bypass wrote me a letter out of frustration recently. Although she's lost 25 pounds her first month, she was feeling like she wasn't losing fast enough. After some realization that the people who were losing faster than her on the message boards had more to lose and that 25 pounds was a really good number, she felt better.

Below is a letter I wrote her in response. I thought I would send it to you all because either you're going to be there, are there or have been there. Whether you're doing Weight Watchers or you undergo weight-loss surgery, losing weight and patience are two things that don't mix well for most people. :-)

Writing the letter in response also helped me gain some perspective too. I've been struggling with a few pounds over the past two or so months - and it's easy to get caught up in that and lose sight of how far you've come. However, yesterday (my two-year wedding anniversary), I was able to take a look back and really appreciate all that has changed about me in two years.

It didn't happen overnight and let me tell you - my patience were tried constantly. They still are. Yet, I am now able to look back and see that by just keeping the faith and focus, my body has transformed in ways I never dreamed. I am glad I didn't give up when I felt frustrated. I use to do that a lot with Weight Watchers. This time, with the blessing of my tool, I've been able to prove to myself I am not a quitter.

So, if you are struggling where you are right now, don't let the frustration sabotage you. It's so easy to use that excuse. But don't. If you struggle in the future, just know that it is normal and you gotta keep on pushing to your goal. You do have a goal, right? ;-)

Ok below is what I wrote her and attached are some pics from my wedding day (299 pounds), my 1-year anniversary (261 pounds) and yesterday, my two-year anniversary (163 pounds). Whew….I'm tired! ;-)

My love to you all!
Xoxox
Melissa

***

It's really hard to keep your perspective through all this. While it's easy for people to tell you to do so - many don't understand.

They say - "when have you ever lost XX amount of weight in such a short time?" They're right of course - but still...

You've faced the fact that you need to get the weight off. You've undergone a major surgery that permanently alters your body. You're on a restricted diet. You've had to part ways with your best friend - food. You're ready to change. And yet, you're still overweight. haha It's funny but it's not. I mean - you want it gone and you want it gone now!

So, yeah, it is hard to be patient - especially when these people post on the boards about their amazing weight losses. You feel like you're left behind or somehow it's not working for you. But trust me - it is. You've lost 25 pounds in a month. And, if you keep doing what you're suppose to be doing, you're going to lose that many times over. It does work. Trust me. I thought for sure it wouldn't work for me. But it did.

Yesterday was mine and Scott's 2-year wedding anniversary. I remember last year being conflicted about my emotions. While I was thrilled I had lost 63 pounds by that time (in a little over three months) and was weighing 38 pounds less than I did on my wedding day, I was frustrated because I was still fat. I weighed 261 pounds, barely a size 22/24 and was in the Extremely Obese BMI category .

So, while I was thrilled to have the weight off, I was discouraged. It's amazing what one year can do for a person though. Yesterday I weighed in at 163. Today I am at 159.5 (hopefully it wasn't a fluke! hehe). I am now .5 away from a HEALTHY BMI - something I never have been. I weigh 139.5 pounds less than I did when I got married and 164.5 pounds less than I did when I had my surgery. I am comfortably in size 10s and mediums.

When I looked back on my pics from my anniversary last year and compared them to the pics of me yesterday, I couldn't believe it! While you're constantly transforming the first year or so, you don't really realize how much you've changed until you have these little milestones to compare how far you've come.

Just have faith that you are moving forward and you will keep moving forward. I think sometimes people on this journey lose sight of their goals - or worse, really set none. When you get the bulk off (usually 100 or so), it's really easy get lax. But you always have to keep in mind why you did this and keep pushing yourself - even when you're tired of doing it or you are a frustrated that the loss has slowed or you just want to become complacent.

Trust that it will all work itself out if you do your part. :-)


Wedding Day - April 3, 2004 (299 pounds)


Cheesing it up with those big cheeks!



awwww...I love this photo!



April 3, 2005 (261 pounds-down 63 at that point) and April 3, 2006 (163 pounds-down 161 lbs.)



Side view! Amazing what losing an additional 98 pounds can do for a person!



Awww - Anniversary Kiss 2005


Anniversary kiss 2006! :-)


Closeup of us - 2005


Awwww...this is my favorite pic of us thus far! I love it!


I love this "moment in time" pic of Scott and me. He's on the phone with work - hence the serious look. :-)




Funny pic of Katie and me! It cracks me up!

Finally - a full-length pic!

I haven't taken a full-length pic in a long time. So I was really surprised to see how much I have changed. I was like "OMG I am so small!" I know I am not small - but I sure am a lot smaller than I've ever been in my adult life!




Sorry my hair is so funky. Today is a classic humid Houston day - with some wind thrown in to really mess things up! hehe Anyway, I am wearing my infamous size 10 pants in this pic. hehe

Below is a comparison pic of me on my birthday last year (when I was rightfully thrilled that I had lost 51.5 pounds) and of me today - down 161.5 pounds. What a difference 110 pounds makes! I had NO idea last year I would lose as much as I have. What a total blessing!!!!

Post-Op Day 436: Day Before My Birthday!!

Today at work, my wonderful team and other assorted coworkers made my day extra, extra special! OMG it was incredible!

When I got into my office, it was covered with streamer and balloons and the Birthday Princess Wand. hehe Then they took me to lunch and we had a blast. I have some photos from it. They gave me a terrific card signed by lots of people in the building as well as a $75 gift certificate to Dress Barn, where I have been finding some awesome clothes! I couldn't believe they gave me so much!

When we got back, my friend Ignacia called and told me to go the next building over. She had a lady over there make a cake for me. Well, you would NOT believe this cake. I took photos, but you just had to have to seen it in person to believe! It was the most incredible Hello Kitty cake ever! The lady is an artist and she drew Kitty free-hand! I couldn't believe it!

So, everyone gathered and sang happy birthday to me. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day at work.

Words cannot describe how much I love my team and coworkers. I am so very blessed by them. They are the greatest friends a girl could ever want. When I picked up my life and moved here five years ago this month, I had no friends here. Now, I am blessed - in abundance. Thank You God for my wonderful, beautiful friends!

Below are some pics from today:



Birthday Princess :-)


Me & My Beautiful Team (look at my jacked-up, wind-blown hair!)



My incredible cake!!! (This pic cannot do it justice!)



mmmmm I love cake!! (Though I could only eat about three bites of it!)

****
Check out more pics from today at: http://community.webshots.com/album/548436073MMqlvJ

Post-Op Day: Happy Hump Day

Well, there's just a few more days until my birthday on Saturday! I cannot believe I will be 35. I kinda like that number though for some reason...or at least that's what I am telling myself.

I received a beautiful card and gift in the mail yesterday from Toni, my friend that had gastric bypass surgery in July. It was the sweetest, most beautiful card ever! It had a butterfly on the cover (butterflies represent our transformation in the weight-loss surgery community) and inside it said: "May your birthday be beautiful just like you. Happy Birthday." awwww

Then she wrote a wonderful note thanking me for everything I've done for her on her new path and wishing me a fabulous year. Isn't that so sweet??

She also sent me this little box called "The Art of Belly Dancing." Inside this little box are some zills (finger cymbals) adhesive jewels and a 32-page primer to help get me started! It is the coolest thing - and thoughtful too, as I have been wanting to take belly dancing lessons for a while now. I love that Girl!!!

Bad hair

Other than that, not a lot happened yesterday. It was so humid and my hair totally screwed up. It doesn't help that I decided to cut on it myself and now I hate what I've done. I do that about twice a year. It's the impatient ADD person inside of me that can't leave well-enough alone until it grows out. Instead, I whack on it and I set myself back a few months. GRRRR Now I am going to have bad hair for my party. :-( (I sound like a 14 year old, don't I?)

ok enough of that.

Actually, two things did happen that I want to touch on briefly...

One was that I caught a glimpse of my reflection yesterday as I walked past a long window. For some reason, my eyes saw myself with more weight on me than I've had in a while - perhaps 100 pounds more. I guess it was just a flashback, but it scared me. I didn't realize I had such a fear of gaining the weight back - but I really think I do.

I guess that's normal. However, for that brief second, it was as if all I had worked for was gone and I had my old body shape. I don't want to go back there. I am sure much of it is pride. I mean I am finally, for the first time ever, liking how my body shape looks. I've never known what it's like to feel truly comfortable in the space I take up.

So, I will take that little mind trip as a reminder from God that I need to stop picking on myself so much for the little details (like my screwed up hair???) and never forget how far I've come and APPRECIATE that blessing.

Also...

Last night I went to Steak Night at the Hop. Believe it or not, the Hop has THE BEST steak I have ever eaten - and I've had some high-dollar steaks in my life. I don't know what it is - maybe they marinade in heroin - but those steaks are sooooooo addicting!

Anyway, my friends couldn't make it and Scott was working late, so I sat at the bar reading some local publications as I waited for my food. Steak Night attracts a 60-and-older crowd generally, so I usually have some older gentlemen making conversation with me (and they tell me I look like Marilyn Monroe haha).

Well, this older gentleman scooted over next to me and said, "Excuse me. I have to tell you, you look so much like my wife who passed away last year."

I was taken back by his words but I was STUNNED when I saw the photo he presented to me. In essence, she was me at about 60. Same platinum blonde hair, same cheekbones, same smile, same hair. It was uncanny.

He told me she missed one mammogram and that proved fatal. The next year, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and it went into her bones. She fought for two years and died last January. He kept telling me to never miss a mammogram. It was so, so sad.

They were married for 19 years and you could tell he is still grieving so much. He said when I walked into the bar, it blew him away. I cannot imagine how hard it was for him to see me. As he talked about her, his eyes filled with tears.

He asked if I was married; I told him yes. He said too bad because he would marry me in a heartbeat and that he has a nice house and money. It was sad because you could tell he was just trying to recapture the magic he has lost.

After we talked, he left. I left shortly after and I cried all the way home. Life is so short. I felt so bad for him - to be missing someone that much and knowing she will never come back to him. It made me really appreciate all that I have right now at this time. Thank You God for my many, many blessings.

***

Ok I need to get ready for work. I am so glad I am writing in my blog more. It's such therapy. :-)