Obesity Help Houston event

Yesterday was absolutely fabulous!!! I went to the Obesity Help conference and then partied afterwards with some of the Obesity Help message board folks. I am soooooooooooo glad I went!

The night before I was stressed because I really wanted something new to wear. My wardrobe is so small now and everything was dirty from this past week. I rotate the same five or so outfits week after week after week, so by the time the weekend comes I have nothing to wear unless I wash it.

After picking through everything at Walmart and then Kohls, I finally found the perfect outfit at Kohls around 11 p.m. I was so tired. I found a pretty ivory top along with awesome complimentary earrings, necklace and a purse all for $60. I felt guilty spending the money, but I knew it was a bargain and I rarely buy myself anything like that. Oh, I need to add that the top was a fitted 14 - my first time wearing a top in that size!

Even though I bought it, I still didn't know if I was going to wear it until I woke up the next morning. I had already planned an alternate and had tried to talk myself into returning the ensemble. However, I just couldn't deny that it all looked really nice and it made me feel good to feel put together for a change. I've gotten so use to putting together hodge-podge outfits generally from hand-me-downs.

Anyway, I am so glad I wore it. After I got ready and was about to leave, I went to wake Scott and tell him goodbye. When he opened his eyes, he goes: "My God!" I said, "What?!" He said, "You just look so beautiful. That outfit looks great on you!"

That made my day!!! *blush* I love that man!

The event itself was sooooooooo awesome! I met three friends from work there - Toni, Amy and Melissa. We're all in the support group I run at Johnson Space Center. I was soooo glad they went and I got to spend time with them. Toni looks amazing! She's lost over 60 pounds since her July 27 surgery. I hadn't seen her in a month and a half, so the changes were really drastic in my eyes. Man, this surgery is amazing!!

I learned quite a bit and, more so, it really helped me focus on what's important in this journey. Plus, it's so awesome to be surrounded by those who have had the surgery and those who want it. You just feel like everyone there understands you and what you've been through. What's funny is that you see these "normal" sized people and, when you learn that they've lost 100+ pounds, you almost can't even believe it!

There were two segments that were really emotional for me. One is when a guy from the Texas message board shared his story. Ramon has lost 250+ pounds and is absolutely amazing. He is such a great speaker and a passionate man. When they showed a video presentation at the end featuring his before and after photos, I cried. Just to see how he has changed and how his world has opened up really touched me. Plus, he had such awesome words of wisdom on appreciating this surgery and doing what you have to do to make it work.

The other segment that got to me is when they had all of us who have lost 100 or more pounds stand up and walk to the side. As I walked to my spot, I almost couldn't believe I was part of that group. One year ago, I weighed 324 pounds. I never ever dreamed that just one year later, I would weigh 185 pounds. God is so good.

When I had to walk up to the mic and say "My name is Melissa and I have lost 139 pounds," I almost cried. The feelings it brought up in me were intense. They still are and I am on the brink of tears just typing all this. I feel so blessed, lucky, happy, amazed, overwhelmed and grateful. To be delivered from morbid obesity is the single-most incredible thing that has ever happened to me, and I vow to spend my life working to help others reach the other side as well.

By the time I got home, I was on such a high. Scott was thrilled for me that I had a great time. I thanked him repeatedly for being my rock, cheering me on and staying by my side through all of this. I always want him to know how much his love and support has meant to me.

I later talked to my bypass twin Diana and she was heading to the Hop to party with people from the message board. So, I got my diva hoochie outfit on and headed that way. ;-)

I had a BLAST!!! It was soooooo terrific to see Diana. She looks freaking amazing! OMG I am so proud of her!!! Diana - I love you!!

I met so many wonderful folks. I definitely need to stop lurking on the message board and start talking more. Those folks are beautiful, wonderful and inspiring!!

I had two awesome compliments last night. One was that a person was surprised that I had gastric bypass; another is that a person thought I had already had my plastic surgery done! WOW - talk about blowing me away.

Also, throughout the night, people were telling me how attractive I was. Given what I wrote in my previous entry about not feeling as attractive and sexy as I once did, it really and truly made my night.

I had a blast dancing with new friends and talking to people. My friend Mark showed up and paid my bar tab, so that rocked too. hehe

I really hope we do this more - I need to stay plugged in and connected with people who totally understand.

I will close this with a photo of me with Ramon and Kristal. I made it black and white because Kristal and I had red eyes. I think it turned out really good and captures the fun and magic of last night.

Post-Op Day 326: I didn't fall off the face of the earth! ;-)

Hello there...Gosh I've been so bad about updating. Sorry about that! I get behind, and then I get overwhelmed thinking about having to catch up on all I've gotten behind on. Make sense?

Anyway, life is going really good. I hit my lowest weight so far (185) two days ago, then it bounced up yesterday and now I am now at 186 today. It can be so crazy sometimes. I cannot believe, though, that I finally made it to the -139 mark! OMG!!

My goal is to be at -150 by my 1-year anniversary of Dec. 29, but I just cannot see me losing 11 pounds between now and then - especially with Thanksgiving and Christmas (and tons of parties) in between! Even if I don't hit that mark, I am totally ok with where I do wind up on my anniversary date. To lose 139 pounds in this amount of time is more than I could have possibly dreamed, so I am thrilled beyond words!

Sooooo...what's been going on, you say? Gosh...lots! Let me try to fill in the blanks.

Back Home Again in Indiana



My trip home was ABSOLUTELY wonderful!

First - the report on my flight. As I had written before, I was having anxiety about the plane seat and seat belt. Before I was stuffed like a sausage into those seats and the belt would b-a-r-e-l-y fit. I remember how uncomfortable I was squished in with that belt tightly wrapped around me. It was always a frustrating and uncomfortable experience.

Well this time, I sat down COMFORTABLY. The arm rests were at a good angle (before they were too low because the cushion of fat on my behind had me sitting too high). When I went to put the belt on, it fit just fine with about six inches of excess belt left. YAY!

Something I had forgotten is that the trays would never come down right for me - my belly was too big so the tray would plop down on it and wouldn't be usable because it would be slanted. :-( I HATED THAT!

This time, the tray came down with room to spare between it and my belly. Hallelujah! I used the tray to eat my little snack and to do my word puzzles. When I didn't need my tray, I left it up and I sat there with my legs crossed. I felt like a normal person for the FIRST TIME while flying!

Another thing is that I didn't have a bunch of snacks with me. Before, the flight snack never would fill me up, so I always made sure that I had snacks to eat while waiting and while on the flight. I would get antsy at the thought of not having food with me in case I was hungry - which I think I was ALWAYS hungry.

This time, I had bottled water and that's it. When the snack came, I ate it and felt satisfied. I didn't sit and obsess about food. Simply amazing.

When I arrived, it was so awesome to see my parents! I didn't think I had changed much since seeing them back in July (about 35 pounds ago). However, they both thought I looked "skinny" - my Dad was especially surprised by how much my face had slimmed down.

We went to go see my Granny while I was there. Even though she knew I had the surgery, seeing me really freaked her out. She just couldn't get over how much I had changed. She was so proud of me and happy for me. It was so great to see her. I love her so much and I hate I don't get to see her anymore.


On that Friday, I went out with my best friend from high school. Heather and I hadn't seen each other in 15 or so years. It was wild seeing her! She looked awesome. It's kinda weird to think that, at that point, I was less than 10 pounds heavier than what I weighed in high school. Yet, I thought I was absolutely gigantic then. I didn't know gigantic and it's taken me almost 140 pounds to get back to this size. Amazing.


We had fun, though I can tell I am much more wilder than her. She has two kids and is an adult. haha I am childless and forever a party girl. It was still awesome to get out and check out Louisville's nightlife - which I am shocked they even have one. Louisville is actually a fun place now. Figures - I leave and it gets cool. :-) Growing up 5 minutes away from Louisville as I lived in Southern Indiana, I never appreciated the area. Now I do.

The night before I left, my parents had my extended family over. None of them knew beforehand that I had the surgery. Talked about freaked out. haha! The last time they saw me, I was about 290 or 300 pounds. It was definitely the topic of the night. haha It was great seeing them and I appreciated all of their words of support. I could tell they were very happy for me. It's weird to think weight even matters, but it does. When you lose a big chunk, it does impact your family.

(Me in my old bedroom)

I have to say that while I was gone, I sure missed Scott and Katie terribly. I find when I am in Indiana, I miss Texas. When I am in Texas, I miss Indiana. My heart is completely tugged constantly.

It was soooooooo awesome to see Scott when I arrived home. He had the house all cleaned up and had funny notes everywhere. He was so happy to see me. I felt like all was right with the world at that time. :-)

Stress management

It was a hectic week trying to get caught back up after being gone. As I've written in the past, I've been very stressed lately at work. When I was away, I realized that I need to learn how to delegate better. I've been carrying a huge load that I could spread out amongst several people who could actually focus on the stuff and do it better than an overwhelmed me could do.

So, I delegated. :-) It significantly helped reduce my stress. Thank Goodness. I guess I just try so hard to be a good boss - one that doesn't take her team for granted. I also like being a productive member of the team. But I realized that I wasn't doing them or me any good by doing the work of two-and-a-half people. I wasn't able to give them much time or guidance because I was drowning.

Now that I've redistributed the work load, we're all happier. In fact, I went to lunch with some of them for the first time in forever it seemed. They said they've missed me visiting their offices and being open for them to come into mine. They said they don't like when I am stuck in my office and inaccessible all day long. So, I need to remember that I am there to lead and what they need from a leader is someone who takes time to see and hear them.

On the panic attacks - Luckily, they have gotten better too. I had a few of them in Indiana, but this week was better. I haven't had to take my Xanax for a week now. I really hate that I had to take it, but it really helped take that edge off.

I know that I have to better manage my stress now that I can't overeat like I use to. I am sure it will cut down on the anxiety attacks and other negative behaviors. After delegating, I did notice my grazing habits calmed down and I actually lost a few more pounds. My food choices still aren't the best, but at least I've cut down on the snacking. Baby steps, Melissa, baby steps.

Guess who is going to be in a magazine?

That's right...me! This week I was interviewed for the local magazine Total Body. Yeah I know - I never dreamed that I would be in any fitness magazine - especially one called Total Body. haha

Being a former newspaper reporter and editor, it was wild for me to be on the interviewee end of things. However, the reporter was great and she asked some very thought-provoking questions. We talked a long time. I hope I didn't bore her. I just am so jazzed about this surgery and the benefits and changes it provides.

I am suppose to be photographed for it tomorrow. Eeek! I sure hope I have a good hair day!!


Compliments galore...

It's funny how I will go several weeks and nobody will say much about my loss. Sure, I will get a random "wow!" but it will be pretty quiet in the compliment area. Then, out of the blue, I will have a week where they come in abundance. This was one of those great weeks. :-)

For instance, when I walked into the bar for our weekly happy hour on Thursday, our friend Chris said, "You've lost more weight! I could tell the moment you walked in the door!" Gosh that's so nice to hear.

The next day I stopped by to see my friends in the graphics building. It was like I was a star walking through there. Everyone was just going on and on about my weight loss and how good they thought I looked. One of my employees was standing there when I got swarmed by a group of women who work in the building. Debbie just looked kinda stunned. I said, "See Debbie - in our building, I'm old news. Here's I am new news!" haha

Later that day, I was walking back from the cafeteria with Joanne and Kendra when I noticed someone standing there staring at me. It was my friend Milt who hadn't seen me in a year probably. I had written him and email several weeks ago telling him that he needed to see me - I had changed. He asked if I was no longer a blonde. I told him I will always be a blonde, but I am down 135 or so pounds.

When he saw me on Friday, he was shocked. He goes, "Where'd you go?!" I said, "I am right here." He said, "Yeah but where'd you go!" and he hugged me.

I told him that's why I wanted him to see me. He said, "You look good Melissa. No! You look GREAT!"

I thanked him and we parted ways. He then stopped and turned around and told me, "But you know what - you ALWAYS looked great Melissa."

That really touched me and it was what I needed to hear.

While I seem to be enjoying it all, it's still hard for me to take the compliments now. As much as I love them and generally love the spotlight, it seems like it is getting harder and harder for me to not get almost shy when I get them. I don't really understand why because I have always been an attention whore.

I think it's partly because I am still so unsure of myself now and how I am looking. Like I told some folks yesterday, I felt more sexier and attractive at 290 pounds than I do now. I am the opposite of most who undergo this change. I guess because I knew myself so well then and I had been that way for so long.

I had gotten to the point where I knew size doesn't dictate sex appeal. I reveled in the fact that I was plus-size AND I was hot. I embraced the sexiness that dwelled within me and I spent a long time proving to myself and others that my full-figured self was just as hot as any normal-sized person. I enjoyed being the BBW who led the charge that fat is where it's at. :-)

Since the surgery, everything has changed, and continues to change, so fast that I think it's thrown me for a loop. Now that I am considered fairly "normal" sized, perhaps I feel like I have lost my niche - you know, the uniqueness of me being big AND sexy. I just don't know how to be "normal" and sexy. And even when I type 'normal' I feel weird, like I am a fraud. But, by all accounts of what people tell, I look fairly normal sized - though it's hard for me to see.

So I am caught in this weird twilight zone where I don't know how to be sexy and normal sized nor do I know how to accept that I am normal sized without feeling like a big fraud inside. So it's all a jumbled mess in my brain. All I know is that I miss the confidence that I once had. I miss the Kitty I once was.

Every time I get a compliment though, I am so grateful and I try to build on each one in my mind. It is my hope that the compliments will help me fully embrace the new me soon. They do help because they affirm me and help me gauge where I am at that point. I am also lucky because Scott constantly tells me how beautiful and sexy he thinks I am. He's always loved me as-is, even at my highest weight. If it weren't for him and his endless support, I really would be a mixed-up basket case!

The truth is - I am the only one who can change my feelings and attitude. Scott can't do it for me and neither can anyone else. I really do want to develop the same sense of confidence and sensuality in this new look that I had for so many years with my old look. Being shy is definitely not me. Sure, most would say that I still seem outgoing and like the old me. But I'm not inside. The confidence and spark are not there. When I withdraw, like I have been in some ways, I feel cut off.

I need to let my light shine again. I know I can do that if I live by my own advice to others and remember that "Attitude is everything" and "Sexy comes in all sizes" - even in smaller packages.


A WOW moment

I had a great WOW moment this week: I actually wore size 14 Gap pants!! What else makes this a wow moment is that they were the pants of one of my employees. Granted, they are her fat pants. But like Toni said, Kendra has never been fat to us, so to wear anything of hers is a major victory! Kendra actually has an awesome body.

As I told Toni, the Gap has always been the epitome of stores I never dreamed I could shop in. Even in high school, I couldn't wear Gap clothes. In fact, during that time I worked at Lane Bryant and next door to us was the Gap. I always hated walking by that store on my way into work. At night, when were closing, I hated seeing the Gap girls walk by our store as they left for the night. I would always want to be someone who worked in a trendy store and who could fit into their clothes.

Now I can. :-)

To see a Gap label in my pants is so awesome. I know it seems very insignificant, but it represents a great deal to me and how far I have come. yay!!

***

I have one more thing to talk about - the Obesity Help Houston Conference. Instead of tacking it on here, I will give it a separate entry.

I am so glad I got this caught up. I always feel better when I am current on my journal and website. It helps me keep my focus too. It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day activities of life and lose your focus on this journey. I want to continue my success, so I know I need to continue to stay plugged in.

If you need to get plugged in or just want someone who understands to talk to, feel free to write me. I would love to hear from you.

Thank You God for all your blessings. I never want to take them for granted.

xoxox
Melissa

Post-Op Day 312: The scale moves again!

Man, I cannot believe I am down two more pounds!!! I might be back up a little tomorrow, but for now - I am taking what I can! haha

I am now out of the 190s! WOW...after being stuck at 194 for about two weeks or so, it's really kicked in! I went back and looked at my daily weigh-ins and I noticed that about this time every month is where I drop the most weight. Then, around my period time, I stall for a couple of weeks. So, it's two weeks of losing and two weeks of sitting. That works for me!

It's hard to believe that I am just 30 pounds from my goal weight. In some ways, it seems so far away. In other ways, it seems so close. I know I can do it. I want to do it.

Well, I just wanted to pop in and update with the good news. I didn't do much at all yesterday but relax. So, today I need to kick it in and get things in order for my trip!

Thank You God for answered prayers.

xoxox

Post-Op Day 311: A MAJOR MILESTONE!!!

In this journey, losing any amount of weight is exciting. To see the scale change for the better gives you hope. I've made it a point to appreciate each and every pound lost in this journey toward better health.

Still...there are some milestones that mean the world to you.

Today I hit one! This morning I weighed 191 lbs. Seems like a rather anonymous number to most I'm sure. But for me, at my height of 5'7", the weight of 191 means that I am no longer considered OBESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG I cannot believe it!!!! I have lived with that title for so long, that it's become a part of my self-identifying label. And that's just so sad.

My BMI is now 29.9. Just 10 months and 7 days ago, it was 50.7!! Without this surgery, I would have never achieved this I don't think. If I did, it would have taken several years - which would have prolonged the damage the excess weight was surely doing to my body.

Past and present...

When I put in my height and starting weight in this BMI calculator http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/information/bmicalc.php, this is what it says:

You have a BMI of 50.7.This puts you in the Super Morbid Obesity category.Your BMI is extremely high and is enough to qualify you for bariatric surgery.

Just seeing that BMI and message again brings back all the old feelings of hopelessness and despair I had about my weight. I remember feeling so down about it. Yet, in some weird way, I had just come to accept that was my weight range and I couldn't truly see me having a better future. I felt stuck.

I had read so many times how obese I was and how urgent it was to minimize that BMI to get me out of the morbid category, that I became desensitized to the whole situation. I was in denial about how truly overweight I was. Self-preservation is an amazing thing that can be wonderful or disastrous, you know?

Now when I put my current weight in, it gives me this message:

You have a BMI of 29.9.This shows that you are moderately overweight.Your BMI is not high enough to qualify you for bariatric surgery.

Also, in the introduction, it says:
The medical community uses a term called Body Mass Index or BMI to determine how overweight a person is. Typical BMI may be from 25 to 30. Individuals with a BMI over 40 may qualify for bariatric surgery.

It's so weird to think that I, Melissa, have a typical BMI! Granted, I want to get into the normal range, but to know I am fairly average is so awesome! To go from the SUPER MORBID OBESITY category to the kinder, gentler sounding category of MODERATELY OVERWEIGHT is, well, nothing short of a miracle to me.

It's weird but I don't feel like that's my current weight. I kinda feel like a fraud by plugging in 191! When I was pre-op and new post-op, I would sit and dream about the future. I would plug in numbers to see what it would look like to have better readings.

I would plug in 299 just to see a '2' instead of the '3' in 324. I would plug in 274, 250, 224 (I remember how small that number looked), 215, 205, 199, 191 and so on. I still do it to this day for 174 (that's my -150) and 159 (my goal weight).

So when I put in 191 and see that I am no longer obese, it almost feels like it's not real. I've dreamed for so long that I cannot fathom it's a reality now. WOWOOWOW! I am just so excited over it!

Seeing yourself...
You know, it's so hard to envision what you're truly looking like when you really don't have a concept of how much you've changed physically. I mean you know you are smaller, but you just cannot comprehend the amazing change you've gone through in such a short amount of time.

Other people saw you all the way around your body and have many ways to gauge your size. They saw how much space you really took up, how wide you are and how big you were compared to them and others.

It's hard to see yourself from your own viewpoint in comparison to others. For us, our view is from the inside. Mirrors can't give you an accurate description. I mean, I knew I was much bigger than most people. I did see and sense that. But, you still can't truly conceive of it totally. Or at least I couldn't.

I think that's why it is so shocking when you see yourself in photos with others when you're morbidly obese. You know you're big, but you just can't fathom yourself being THAT MUCH bigger than others in proportion. I guess some people envision themselves bigger than they really are, so it isn't shocking. But for me, it was. In my mind, I didn't feel that big and I didn't act that big, if that makes sense. I didn't feel that different from others. I always felt part of the crowd.

As you start losing the weight and fitting into spaces better, you start to comprehend just how much different you were than "normal" people. Some people who have this surgery had been thin or average before - so they knew quite well just how much had changed.

For me, I had never been thin or average. I've always been big and it just kept building. So, in that span of time where I gradually gained the weight to become 324 pounds, I had forgotten how I fit into things when I was, say, 260 or 220 and definitely at 191. At 324, I couldn't remember what it felt like to fit better in seats and booths. I knew I use to fit better, but I just couldn't recall what it was like. It seemed like it had always been that way.

So, by losing weight this rapidly, the changes in the way I fit have been very noticeable. For instance, just the way I fit in this computer chair. I've always "fit" in it, but I was squeezed in. It was tight around my thighs and I sat up higher in it because of the extra fat on my behind. Now, I have room to spare on the sides and I sit lower. I almost feel little in it.

Anyway back to my original thought...yes, I realize I am shrinking, but it is still hard to see the drastic difference that others see because they remember what you looked like in 3-D. They remember the amount of space you took up. They remember how their body size compared to yours. They remember how you had more fat rolls, a double chin or whatever. So, when they see you after a significant amount of weight is gone, to them it's an amazing transformation - especially if they haven't see you in a while. All the while, I find myself thinking, "I'm not THAT different."

Last night we had a work BBQ. I saw a lady I see on a weekly basis. She generally pops into my office when I am sitting at my desk. Last night, she saw me walking up to the event. She was like, "Hi Skinny! Wow - you've lost a lot more weight, haven't you?" Even though she sees me regularly, it wasn't until she saw me standing next to her that she had a better frame of reference.

Another guy (who at around my 50-pound loss thought I had lost a lot and told me not to get too thin) sat down next to me and said, "I haven't seen you in a while so I have to tell you that you look amazing - simply amazing." That was so sweet.

Every day I get compliments from a variety of people. I am so glad I started off this journey with spirit of openness about my surgery. It's opened the door for such good dialogue. People feel comfortable in sharing with me their own weight struggles (some I would have never known). They also feel comfortable telling me they're proud of me or that they think I am looking good or that I give them hope.

In this journey where your mind obviously gets so skewed because it cannot comprehend the true changes you've made, it's been awesome to have so many open and honest and uplifting comments to keep pushing me forward.

Removing the label
Ok I will stop rambling now. :-) I am just so excited. To no longer have that label of "obese" slapped across my forehead in my mind's eye is more liberating than I realized it would be.

It gives me a challenge to now truly embrace the new me. I no longer have the excuse of "yeah I know I've lost a lot of weight, but I am still considered obese." It's been time to let that negative self-imagine go for a while now. Now I no longer have the crutch of the 'obese' label to keep me from doing some emotional growth.

Gosh...it's hard to see yourself in a new light. You just keep wanting to go back to it or dismiss it - saying that I am not THAT far from being obese, so it really doesn't count. There has to come a time when I start viewing myself differently and to change my mindset about my size. I need to let go of what was comfortable - painful, but comfortable.

I have to stop beating myself up about my weight and size and starting loving myself for who I am inside. I had this surgery to transform myself for the better. Well, the surgery has changed me physically. Now it's time to turn some focus on my mind and my thoughts. It's time to really embrace the changes that have happened and are continuing to happen.

I will leave with this quote:

"And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful that the risk it took to blossom."

Thank You God for all this. I am ready to blossom.

Post-Op Day 308 : Feeling good today

This morning, I woke up feeling good. Maybe it was the extra sleep I got or maybe the fog in my mind has lifted some. I do know feeling Scott rub my back as I half-slept did wonders in making me feel safe, good and content. I love him so much.

The scale once more said 192.5, so it must be true. :-) Wow - to see that number typed there and to think I weigh it just blows me away. It sure looks a whole lot better than 324! I figured out last night that I have lost 74% of my excess weight. Gosh....just 26 more percent (basically a fourth more) and I will have no excess weight. YAYAY!

Today wasn't as bad as my work days have been lately. Thank You God for that. I felt happy throughout the day - even when it got a little stressful. I just didn't have that same sense of dread that I have been feeling.

We had an all-hands today in our auditorium. When I was about to go up the aisle, several people I hadn't seen in a while were like "Melissa you look awesome!" I was floored. I just smiled, waved, said thank you and told them I need to make these kinds of entrances more often. :-)

When I sat in the auditorium seat, I simply enjoyed fitting in it so well - with room to spare. OMG it was great. I use to cram my butt in them. I remember last November when we had a program in there, I couldn't really fit in the seat right. I sat kinda on the edge of the seat and twisted to side. My body spilled over. I remember feeling so miserable. It's amazing what can change in a year. I so appreciate those miracles.

After the program, two of NASA's photographers I work with from time to time walked me to my office and talked for a while. One of them has always thought I was da bomb - even when I was at my heaviest. The other is more quiet. This is the first time he has said anything about my changes. He was so complimentary and was wowed by how the bypass surgery works. It was great talking to them.

Other than that, nothing much else happened to report.

I am just so excited to think that next week at this time, I will be back home in Indiana with my parents. I cannot WAIT to see them and my Granny! She hasn't seen me since April 2004 - so the weight loss will look dramatic to her. I will see my other family members as well. They haven't seen me in like 2 years or so. They don't even know I had the surgery!

I am also eager/nervous to see how I fit in a plane seat. Before, I have been SO SHOVED INTO those seats with the seat belt BARELY clicking. I always felt like I was going to strangle my mid-section by keeping it on. I am wondering if I will tell a big difference.

Ok I am going to go lay down. Scott's working overtime, so I am going to snooze until he gets home.

Thank You God for all the little wonders and blessings You give me throughout the day. I never want to take them for granted.

Post-Op Day 307: FINALLY!

Finally the scale moved!! I am now at 192.5!!! I am just 1.5 pounds way from moving my BMI to the Overweight range. That's right - I will no longer be considered obese. Wowowow!

I guess shaking up my eating routine yesterday helped knock me out of neutral. Whatever the explanation is, it has motivated me to stay more focused today. I generally stay pretty focused as the scale moves. It's when it stalls that I start mindless eating, etc.

I am staying home today. I started not feeling good last night. This morning I woke up at 2 a.m. and I haven't been able to go back to sleep yet. It's almost 6:30 a.m. I am going to walk Katie and then crawl back into bed.

I am just so excited to see a new number on the scale! OMG it was awesome when I looked. I cannot believe also that I am almost out of the 190s. I am truly firmly planted in Onederland! How exciting!!!

Ok I am going to wrap this up. I might post later.

THANK YOU GOD for my life.