Post-Op Day 360: A wonderful Christmas Eve...
Last year at this time, I was so focused on my pending surgery that I wasn't able to enjoy the Christmas holiday like I wanted to. This year, I am just letting myself enjoy it all.
Sure I am stressed about having to do all the holiday stuff and I wonder if I got Scott and my folks things they like. However, I am not completely pre-occupied with the thought of life-altering surgery. haha
My weight loss is taking a big hit this month. In fact, I'm up a pound since my last post. Funny, I was so worried that I would never be able to eat my favorites anymore. Now I wish I couldn't! haha Since I don't dump on ANY sugar, I find myself eating too many of the sweets I've always loved. I generally have decent will-power, but the food abundance in December really is hard for me to manage. Luckily, I can't eat huge portions of anything still. The bad part is that I can graze all day long.
I am not beating myself up too bad though. Why?
1. This is the FIRST holiday season (from October through January 1) that I've LOST weight instead of gained it. So, I need to keep that in mind and rejoice in that fact. I am sitting here lighter than I can EVER remember in my adult life at 179.5 pounds and I am a size 14. I feel healthy and I look healthy.
2. My support group leader said that, now that we are different from our surgery, we have to think differently. Normal-size people also tend to overeat during the holiday season - it's just not overweight people who do it. But what do normal-size people do when the season's over? They kick back into healthy behaviors at the start of the New Year and focus on getting more fit. For me, I use to say, "Oh well - I ruined things during this time. I will just keep eating." Instead of getting off the 10-20 pounds I gained in that time by getting refocused on Weight Watchers, I allowed the negative cycle to continue. This time, I am doing things differently and I am really excited about that. I've experienced success this past year, and I know I will continue to experience even more. I am done with that negative cycle.
3. I joined Curves last week, so I already have a built-in plan to stay motivated. I did Curves before and enjoyed it. I quit after I joined the YMCA. While I loved the Y, I found that I missed the structure and convenience of Curves. I eventually quit the Y but never went back to Curves. I've been needing aerobic activity more than anything. When I went two times last week, it felt SO great working my body like that! OMG! Being so much lighter really makes a difference. I had so much energy. So now I am looking forward to doing Curves as well as building a more structured workout on the Bowflex. I've got a lot of weight off - now I am ready to shape myself up better. I know I will have some excess skin no matter what. But it's not nearly as bad as it could be and I think it can be even better with the combination of aerobics and strength training.
Whew...that was a mouthful!
You know, even as I wrote the above text, I sat here and ate a brownie. As much as I love the taste of it, sweets still don't have the same power over me as they once did. Now when I eat them, I think I am doing it more out of habit than the actual NEED I think I use to have.
So, I really need to focus on cutting out the mindless eating and redirect myself once more to eating for health. I am not going to push it though until after my folks leave. To try and do that would set me up for feeling like a failure when I feel weak and give in. I have to pick and choose my battles. That's another thing I've learned. I know I will get back on track. I don't have to live in that fear of falling off the slippery slope and giving up like I did all 14 or so times while on Weight Watchers. This time I have a tool that will work for me when I utilize it.
Anyway...enough of that...
There's so much I still want to get caught up on. It's been a wonderful month filled with lots of compliments. At Scott's birthday party and his work Christmas party, a lot of people saw me who hadn't seen me in a while and some even before the surgery. It was so nice to hear the great comments. It's funny how people say that, when they heard I was having bypass surgery, they didn't think I needed it. Now that I am down over 140 pounds, they are like "I just didn't realize you needed to lose that much weight, but now that I see how you've changed, it's amazing!"
Being able to wear a solid misses size 14 is absolutely freaking amazing! It's so awesome to go into any store and know I can fit into their clothes is the best feeling in the world. I know I've written than so many times, but I just can't stress it enough. It's incredible how your world just opens up. I can wear a size large - even in some junior clothes.
I just want to buy so many things, but I refrain. I don't want to lock myself into this size. I think I can get down to a 12. I feel like that will be it unless I get plastic surgery. I want to be in a 10 so bad, but I just can't see it happening with this tummy and these thighs. lol
Still, even at a 14, I can buy fashionable things and feel like I look good in them. That's unheard of for me - to actually look in a mirror after trying something on and thinking, "Wow - it looks good!" Sure, I hate my fat rolls and some things just aren't flattering, but it's a thrill not to see reflected back in the mirror a frumpy person that I can't relate to. Inside I've always been a diva, and to not reflect that back was hard. Now I am finally seeing a budding diva looking back at me. I am liking her a lot - even though I am amazed and often shocked every time I take a good look at her.
Ok I need to run. Merry Christmas everyone. Thank You God for your endless blessings - most of all, the blessing that is the reason for this season.
Sure I am stressed about having to do all the holiday stuff and I wonder if I got Scott and my folks things they like. However, I am not completely pre-occupied with the thought of life-altering surgery. haha
My weight loss is taking a big hit this month. In fact, I'm up a pound since my last post. Funny, I was so worried that I would never be able to eat my favorites anymore. Now I wish I couldn't! haha Since I don't dump on ANY sugar, I find myself eating too many of the sweets I've always loved. I generally have decent will-power, but the food abundance in December really is hard for me to manage. Luckily, I can't eat huge portions of anything still. The bad part is that I can graze all day long.
I am not beating myself up too bad though. Why?
1. This is the FIRST holiday season (from October through January 1) that I've LOST weight instead of gained it. So, I need to keep that in mind and rejoice in that fact. I am sitting here lighter than I can EVER remember in my adult life at 179.5 pounds and I am a size 14. I feel healthy and I look healthy.
2. My support group leader said that, now that we are different from our surgery, we have to think differently. Normal-size people also tend to overeat during the holiday season - it's just not overweight people who do it. But what do normal-size people do when the season's over? They kick back into healthy behaviors at the start of the New Year and focus on getting more fit. For me, I use to say, "Oh well - I ruined things during this time. I will just keep eating." Instead of getting off the 10-20 pounds I gained in that time by getting refocused on Weight Watchers, I allowed the negative cycle to continue. This time, I am doing things differently and I am really excited about that. I've experienced success this past year, and I know I will continue to experience even more. I am done with that negative cycle.
3. I joined Curves last week, so I already have a built-in plan to stay motivated. I did Curves before and enjoyed it. I quit after I joined the YMCA. While I loved the Y, I found that I missed the structure and convenience of Curves. I eventually quit the Y but never went back to Curves. I've been needing aerobic activity more than anything. When I went two times last week, it felt SO great working my body like that! OMG! Being so much lighter really makes a difference. I had so much energy. So now I am looking forward to doing Curves as well as building a more structured workout on the Bowflex. I've got a lot of weight off - now I am ready to shape myself up better. I know I will have some excess skin no matter what. But it's not nearly as bad as it could be and I think it can be even better with the combination of aerobics and strength training.
Whew...that was a mouthful!
You know, even as I wrote the above text, I sat here and ate a brownie. As much as I love the taste of it, sweets still don't have the same power over me as they once did. Now when I eat them, I think I am doing it more out of habit than the actual NEED I think I use to have.
So, I really need to focus on cutting out the mindless eating and redirect myself once more to eating for health. I am not going to push it though until after my folks leave. To try and do that would set me up for feeling like a failure when I feel weak and give in. I have to pick and choose my battles. That's another thing I've learned. I know I will get back on track. I don't have to live in that fear of falling off the slippery slope and giving up like I did all 14 or so times while on Weight Watchers. This time I have a tool that will work for me when I utilize it.
Anyway...enough of that...
There's so much I still want to get caught up on. It's been a wonderful month filled with lots of compliments. At Scott's birthday party and his work Christmas party, a lot of people saw me who hadn't seen me in a while and some even before the surgery. It was so nice to hear the great comments. It's funny how people say that, when they heard I was having bypass surgery, they didn't think I needed it. Now that I am down over 140 pounds, they are like "I just didn't realize you needed to lose that much weight, but now that I see how you've changed, it's amazing!"
Being able to wear a solid misses size 14 is absolutely freaking amazing! It's so awesome to go into any store and know I can fit into their clothes is the best feeling in the world. I know I've written than so many times, but I just can't stress it enough. It's incredible how your world just opens up. I can wear a size large - even in some junior clothes.
I just want to buy so many things, but I refrain. I don't want to lock myself into this size. I think I can get down to a 12. I feel like that will be it unless I get plastic surgery. I want to be in a 10 so bad, but I just can't see it happening with this tummy and these thighs. lol
Still, even at a 14, I can buy fashionable things and feel like I look good in them. That's unheard of for me - to actually look in a mirror after trying something on and thinking, "Wow - it looks good!" Sure, I hate my fat rolls and some things just aren't flattering, but it's a thrill not to see reflected back in the mirror a frumpy person that I can't relate to. Inside I've always been a diva, and to not reflect that back was hard. Now I am finally seeing a budding diva looking back at me. I am liking her a lot - even though I am amazed and often shocked every time I take a good look at her.
Ok I need to run. Merry Christmas everyone. Thank You God for your endless blessings - most of all, the blessing that is the reason for this season.
posted by Melissa :-) @ 11:01 AM
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