Pressing on to the 29th

Wow time is flying by. I am feeling very overwhelmed with Christmas thrown into the mix.

I tried to get my surgery rescheduled for Monday, Jan. 17, 2005. In fact, I woke up this morning thinking it was a done deal. However, Amanda from Dr. N's office called to tell me that a lot of insurances are saying they will cover the surgery after the first of the year, but they really won't be because individual companies are going to add exclusions to their plans.

I contacted Gretchen, the awesome nurse at my insurance company. She was sweet but firm when she said, "Sweetie, I strongly encourage you to do it on the 29th."

So, Scott and I kept my post-op appointment this afternoon with the blessing of my wonderfully supportive boss. She is awesome. I am totally in a daze about having the surgery one week from tomorrow. I guess it was meant to be.

Traffic was horrible, as people were jammed packed trying to get into Memorial City Mall. Once there, Scott and I got in immediately. We first met with Julius. He was nice and blunt. We liked him. He talked a lot about the psychological impact about the surgery. He said women would be more catty to me and men would take more notice. Scott said men hit on me a lot already, so he is use to it. Julius told him he hasn't seen anything yet.

On another note, I was happy to hear that he is in surgery with Dr. N. Makes me feel ever safer somehow. He also told me I was low-risk and if I follow the rules, I shouldn't have problems.

Then Dr. N came in. Quiet and sweet as usual. Asked if we had any questions. We didn't. I just told him to get a good night's rest the night before my surgery. He laughed.

I then talked to Amanda. She was glad I decided to stick with the date. She knows the insurance plan can change at a moment's notice at the first of the year. Then I met with Bernie, gave her my check and talked briefly, as I had to get to the hospital. I did mention that the scar from the breast-lump removal was still infected. She had Pam the nurse look at it. She then wanted Dr. N to see it again. He said it was fine and told me to put aloa on it.

Then off we went to fight traffic some more. Pre-op stuff is nothing. They just did pre-admission so next week I don't have to sit through that stuff. I then had some blood drawn, and then I met with a nurse to go over my history. She wasn't the friendliest, but she did say that I am in good hands with Dr. N. She said, "He's done hundreds of these - they've made him a millionaire, I'm sure."

Whatever.

She also said he is demanding of the nursing staff and they know exactly what he wants. I personally don't see that as a bad thing. It sounds like he is a wonderful patient advocate.

Anyway, after that, we left and ate at Texas Land and Cattle - my favorite. It was really sad knowing I won't be eating there in a long, long time. I am so overwhelmed I feel my head is going to explode. I almost feel helpless...like I don't know how to process it all along with Christmas stuff. I will manage.

I am also feeling bummed out because my friend L is stuck in insurance hell. She is the one who really helped me get this moving. I want her here with me. She is being positive about it - telling me, "awww please dont let my mess here take anything from your glory! Yes i would LOVE to both of us to be doin this now, but apparently its not my time. BUT it is YOURS!!!!! So.. i look at it like this, by the time i get ready, you will be an old pro and can help me along :) "

Sooooo...one week from tomorrow morning, I go under the knife. I want to live. I want to live so much that I am willing to go through this to have the best life possible.

I will post more later. I do want to say that I am so grateful for Scott. He is being so supportive. Thank You God for blessing me with him.