In shock....
I am still am in shock that I will be having my surgery in 22 days. It’s like I am so focused on the “what ifs” and the details of it all (eating, drinking, taking vitamins, exercise), that I sometimes forget all the great stuff that will come out of this!
I have always been overweight. I was a chubby child that felt different that the other kids; a thick teen-ager who thought she was way too fat being 30 pounds too heavy; a college student who didn't give a damn about what she ate and an adult who has no recollection of how she ballooned up to this size. It just seemed to “happen.”
In some ways, it has been easy to overlook my weight. I am very outgoing, so people loved me as-is. I take pride in myself in many ways, so my inner confidence has shown through to the outside world. I have embraced my sensuality and sexuality – which creates a powerful persona.
So, for me, being overweight has been so much of who I am. I have no inkling what it is like to be “NORMAL SIZE.” I can’t even really comprehend it will happen to me. It’s like my mind won’t go there.
I think after so many failed attempts at weight loss, I have lost the vision I once had when I was trying to lose weight. I guess I simply cannot grasp that I WILL lose weight – and a lot of it. I am so use to failure in that area, that I’ve come to just accept it. It’s part of who I am, in a sense.
When I visited Dr. Naaman’s office, it was weird to hear the nurse say, “When you lose weight…” I cannot even comprehend that the weight loss is certain.
When doing Weight Watchers, I have struggled for months to lose 30 pounds. I would watch the scale creep down 1 pound one week and then .5 the next and then up 2 the following then down 3 the next week. UGH. I would just work so hard too, only to see minimal results. When face with losing 100+ pounds, I just kept losing my momentum. :-(
To lose 50 or so pounds in less than two months is simply UNREAL. I mean, there’s a real possibility that I won’t have to wear plus-sizes anymore. I cannot even imagine.
In disbelief….
I have always been overweight. I was a chubby child that felt different that the other kids; a thick teen-ager who thought she was way too fat being 30 pounds too heavy; a college student who didn't give a damn about what she ate and an adult who has no recollection of how she ballooned up to this size. It just seemed to “happen.”
In some ways, it has been easy to overlook my weight. I am very outgoing, so people loved me as-is. I take pride in myself in many ways, so my inner confidence has shown through to the outside world. I have embraced my sensuality and sexuality – which creates a powerful persona.
So, for me, being overweight has been so much of who I am. I have no inkling what it is like to be “NORMAL SIZE.” I can’t even really comprehend it will happen to me. It’s like my mind won’t go there.
I think after so many failed attempts at weight loss, I have lost the vision I once had when I was trying to lose weight. I guess I simply cannot grasp that I WILL lose weight – and a lot of it. I am so use to failure in that area, that I’ve come to just accept it. It’s part of who I am, in a sense.
When I visited Dr. Naaman’s office, it was weird to hear the nurse say, “When you lose weight…” I cannot even comprehend that the weight loss is certain.
When doing Weight Watchers, I have struggled for months to lose 30 pounds. I would watch the scale creep down 1 pound one week and then .5 the next and then up 2 the following then down 3 the next week. UGH. I would just work so hard too, only to see minimal results. When face with losing 100+ pounds, I just kept losing my momentum. :-(
To lose 50 or so pounds in less than two months is simply UNREAL. I mean, there’s a real possibility that I won’t have to wear plus-sizes anymore. I cannot even imagine.
In disbelief….
posted by Melissa :-) @ 11:13 AM
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