Post-Op Day 235: Catching up (which is the story of my life!)
Here I am! I know I've been silent for a few days. So, I definitely need to catch up. I will start by updating my weight...
I actually hit 209.5 today! Woo hoo! But, the ticker program doesn't let me put in half-pounds. So, I just inputted 210.
It was so awesome to see 209.5 on the scale. I'm finally in the single digits of the 200s!!!!! I cannot WAIT to be in Onederland! To me, that will be the biggest accomplishment thus far in my whole journey. Hitting 100 pounds gone was awesome - don't get me wrong. But to leave the 200s and be in the 100s for the first time since I was 18 or so - OMG!!!
When I enter the 100s, I think I will view myself differently for some reason. Being in the 200s and 300s (and higher) is a real stigma - especially for women. I've talked to enough overweight people and read enough journals to know that it's not just me that feels that way. For many of us, hitting 200 was when we felt like we were really out of control. And then it just continues on....
So how will I view myself? I don't know exactly. Maybe I will feel more hope that I just might get to a normal weight after all. Maybe I will feel more in control. Maybe I will feel liberated? Or maybe it won't be as big of a deal as I am imagining. I don't know, but I cannot wait to get there to find out!!
My loss has slowed down the past couple of days, but I can probably attribute that to the fact that Katie and I haven't been doing our 1-plus mile walk every morning. Since Scott left for his trip, I feel out of sorts. The days are meshed together. As for the walking, I am use to him waking us up every morning at 5:30 to say goodbye. With him gone, the alarm goes off and I just want to lay in bed. By 6:15, it's too late to walk and it's already too hot.
Enough with the explanation/excuse though. We will get more rest tonight and be up bright and early tomorrow for our walk! I actually do miss pushing my body like that!
My eating schedule has been a little skewed too, but I am doing a good job still of limiting my simple carbs. I have been drinking alcohol more than usual, as I have gone out several nights in a row. Though, last night, I didn't feel like drinking so I drank water in abundance. I did dance a lot and man my thighs are aching! That's a great thing though!
I've probably not eaten enough this weekend. Today I am getting back on track and it feels really good. I am not too far off track at all, but I want to tighten things up because I've enjoyed the returned weight loss over the past week and a half.
Guess my weight
I've been on a roll lately asking people how much they think I weigh now.
It started when I was told the other day that I looked like I weigh 170. Then, at my work support group, I mentioned to the gang that I am at 210 now. They all stopped me right there and told me that I don't look that weight at all - that I look smaller than the number indicates. It kinda shocked me, because I feel like I have "200+" written on my forehead.
I started wondering, "What weight DO people think I weigh??"
So I asked Scott's co-worker Chris, who I met for happy hour this week. He's the one that goes on and on about my weight loss. Anyway, he guessed me at 200. I didn't know that Scott had already told him my starting weight, so he had a point of reference to guess by. Even hearing him say 200 was music to my ears!
Friday at work, I asked my friend Joanne to guess. She didn't want to. She weighs under 130, so she has no frame of reference really of what it is like to be so big. She finally did guess though, and it was flattering. She said 160. I told her to stop being nice. haha
When I told her 210, she was floored. She was even more floored when I told her my starting weight was 324. Joanne said she would have never ever guessed me to be in the high 200s, let alone 300s. So, that was wild to hear. She and I are brutally honest with one another, so I know she was being up front about all that.
Friday night when I went dancing, I asked my friend Mark what he thought I weighed. I think he said 180 or 170. He said I definitely don't look like I am in the 200s now. So I went up to my friend Norma, who is full-figured. She guessed 135, bless her soul. She was talking with a guy who is a personal trainer. I asked him - and told him don't be nice. Just say it like it is. He studied me for a while and finally said 155-160.
When I told them 210, they were like GET OUTTA HERE! I am like - no seriously!
Last night, my friend Rhonda and her hubby John were there. John hadn't seen me in a while and said, "OMG Kitty, you've lost some weight!"
I told him all about my surgery. Both of them weigh over 300. She wants to have it, but he said he didn't want her to. So, I talked him through a lot of the myths. He kept going on and on about how incredible I look. I then told him to guess my weight. He said something like 130-140. When I told him, he was floored as well. All night long, he kept walking by me going, "There is no damn way you weigh over 200 pounds!"
Both he and Rhonda were shocked about my starting weight. We've known each other for a long time - Rhonda and I even tried Weight Watchers for a few weeks together. So, it made me feel good knowing that at my highest, I didn't look that heavy.
So why did I ask all these people? It's not because I am vain. It's because I truly have no real concept of how I look in comparison with the rest of the world. I just wanted to know how people are seeing me because I've been assuming all along that they're thinking I look about 250 or so.
When you live your life a proud Big Beautiful Woman for so long, you get use to knowing and ACCEPTING your size - which is bigger than most. Now, I still feel that way, but this helped me to really see that I am blending in more than I ever have. The weights people quoted are "normal" people weights for the most part - something I have no real frame of reference with.
When Mark and I were talking about my weight, he said that he and I now weigh the same. He's a lot taller than me and he's a bean pole. I am so use to weighing more than men, that it kind of freaked me out to think that I will soon weigh less than him. I also weigh less than Chris. He said he weighs 220 or so. I cannot wait until I weigh less than my husband! I can wear his shirts - but to physically weigh less than him will be a mind trip! I still have a good 20 or so pounds before that happens.
One last thing: As Mark and I talked, he pointed out a woman on the dance floor who just looked average size to me. He said, "You may be just a tad bigger than her - but for the most part, you are the same size." I was like: WHAT?!
I looked at her and couldn't believe it. She just seemed like a "normal" person - not too fat and not too thin. She looked great. She is someone I would have looked at when I was pre-op and I would think, "I would give anything to be that size."
Later that night, I looked at myself in the mirror as I was dancing. I could see what he meant. I did just blend in with the people around me. I'm not skinny, but I am no longer one of the biggest there. I am just happily in the middle.
You know, I've seen myself in that mirror so many times for several years now. It's weird to see a smaller me dancing in that reflection. I feel so happy and blessed. Thank You God!
Two non-scale victories
In the beginning of this journey, I had so many non-scale victories that I listed them. These days, I don't get as many. So, when I do, I like to mention them. I have two to share...
1. I can wrap our big bath towel all the around me and it doesn't gap open at the bottom. Granted, the towels are big, but I haven't been able to do this until now. I was trying on a regular basis, but I had forgot to do so for a while. So, when I tried it this week and it finally fit, I was thrilled!!
2. I received a Spiegel catalog in the mail the other day. Before, I would flip through the pages and get frustrated because I couldn't fit into the clothes I wanted. Sure, they offer plus-sizes in some clothing, but it never failed that the really cool and flashy stuff was not plus-size.
This time, I instinctively felt that same frustration growing as I flipped through - as the clothes are especially awesome this time. I looked at the sizes and saw that all go up to size 18. It then hit me - I can wear any one of these outfits from Spiegel if I wanted to!!! Sure, they all might not look great on my shape; but, my point is, the sizes will fit regardless, as I am a 16 easily in most clothes! I couldn't believe it!
It really hit me that, when I hit goal weight and settle there, I am finally going to be able to invest in one kick-ass wardrobe!!! I will be able to dress like the real me wants to dress. Before, I was basically limited to how Lane Bryant/The Avenue/Fashion Bug/Catherine's/Walmart wanted me to dress. At goal, I will be able to wear whatever outfit I like from whatever store - and there are thousands of stores out there - not just 10 or less that truly cater to plus-sizes.
It is so tempting to drop several hundred dollars and buy a new wardrobe from Spiegel now just because I can. My poor wardrobe at the moment is so limited. I am wearing the same five or so outfits each week. I just can't invest in clothes now obviously because I hope to at least get down to a size 12/14 at least by the time I am done losing weight.
It just keeps getting better and better!!
64% less
I figured out this week that I have lost 64% of my excess weight! When I started this journey, I told myself that if I could lose 65%, I would consider this a success. Well, I am here already and I still have 10 more months or so to lose some more with this tool. Yay!
Right now, with where my current weight is, I am on track to lose about 86% of my excess weight - putting me at a weight of 170 after 18 months. That's definitely something I could live with!! Sure, I my goal is 159 and I will work to get there. However, even if all is said and done and I am at 170 and no less, I will be thrilled beyond words!
If you want to chart your progress or, if you haven't had the surgery but would like to see what kind of weight you could lose with gastric bypass, please visit: http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/postopplanner.phtml
***
Ok I am done now. I've been writing on this off and on for three hours. It's time to get it uploaded. God bless all of us on this journey. :-)
P.S. Diana: I tried harder to keep the typos to a minimum, but I am sure I left a few for you to find. I always gotta make sure you're reading! ;-) Love ya, my favorite twin!
I actually hit 209.5 today! Woo hoo! But, the ticker program doesn't let me put in half-pounds. So, I just inputted 210.
It was so awesome to see 209.5 on the scale. I'm finally in the single digits of the 200s!!!!! I cannot WAIT to be in Onederland! To me, that will be the biggest accomplishment thus far in my whole journey. Hitting 100 pounds gone was awesome - don't get me wrong. But to leave the 200s and be in the 100s for the first time since I was 18 or so - OMG!!!
When I enter the 100s, I think I will view myself differently for some reason. Being in the 200s and 300s (and higher) is a real stigma - especially for women. I've talked to enough overweight people and read enough journals to know that it's not just me that feels that way. For many of us, hitting 200 was when we felt like we were really out of control. And then it just continues on....
So how will I view myself? I don't know exactly. Maybe I will feel more hope that I just might get to a normal weight after all. Maybe I will feel more in control. Maybe I will feel liberated? Or maybe it won't be as big of a deal as I am imagining. I don't know, but I cannot wait to get there to find out!!
My loss has slowed down the past couple of days, but I can probably attribute that to the fact that Katie and I haven't been doing our 1-plus mile walk every morning. Since Scott left for his trip, I feel out of sorts. The days are meshed together. As for the walking, I am use to him waking us up every morning at 5:30 to say goodbye. With him gone, the alarm goes off and I just want to lay in bed. By 6:15, it's too late to walk and it's already too hot.
Enough with the explanation/excuse though. We will get more rest tonight and be up bright and early tomorrow for our walk! I actually do miss pushing my body like that!
My eating schedule has been a little skewed too, but I am doing a good job still of limiting my simple carbs. I have been drinking alcohol more than usual, as I have gone out several nights in a row. Though, last night, I didn't feel like drinking so I drank water in abundance. I did dance a lot and man my thighs are aching! That's a great thing though!
I've probably not eaten enough this weekend. Today I am getting back on track and it feels really good. I am not too far off track at all, but I want to tighten things up because I've enjoyed the returned weight loss over the past week and a half.
Guess my weight
I've been on a roll lately asking people how much they think I weigh now.
It started when I was told the other day that I looked like I weigh 170. Then, at my work support group, I mentioned to the gang that I am at 210 now. They all stopped me right there and told me that I don't look that weight at all - that I look smaller than the number indicates. It kinda shocked me, because I feel like I have "200+" written on my forehead.
I started wondering, "What weight DO people think I weigh??"
So I asked Scott's co-worker Chris, who I met for happy hour this week. He's the one that goes on and on about my weight loss. Anyway, he guessed me at 200. I didn't know that Scott had already told him my starting weight, so he had a point of reference to guess by. Even hearing him say 200 was music to my ears!
Friday at work, I asked my friend Joanne to guess. She didn't want to. She weighs under 130, so she has no frame of reference really of what it is like to be so big. She finally did guess though, and it was flattering. She said 160. I told her to stop being nice. haha
When I told her 210, she was floored. She was even more floored when I told her my starting weight was 324. Joanne said she would have never ever guessed me to be in the high 200s, let alone 300s. So, that was wild to hear. She and I are brutally honest with one another, so I know she was being up front about all that.
Friday night when I went dancing, I asked my friend Mark what he thought I weighed. I think he said 180 or 170. He said I definitely don't look like I am in the 200s now. So I went up to my friend Norma, who is full-figured. She guessed 135, bless her soul. She was talking with a guy who is a personal trainer. I asked him - and told him don't be nice. Just say it like it is. He studied me for a while and finally said 155-160.
When I told them 210, they were like GET OUTTA HERE! I am like - no seriously!
Last night, my friend Rhonda and her hubby John were there. John hadn't seen me in a while and said, "OMG Kitty, you've lost some weight!"
I told him all about my surgery. Both of them weigh over 300. She wants to have it, but he said he didn't want her to. So, I talked him through a lot of the myths. He kept going on and on about how incredible I look. I then told him to guess my weight. He said something like 130-140. When I told him, he was floored as well. All night long, he kept walking by me going, "There is no damn way you weigh over 200 pounds!"
Both he and Rhonda were shocked about my starting weight. We've known each other for a long time - Rhonda and I even tried Weight Watchers for a few weeks together. So, it made me feel good knowing that at my highest, I didn't look that heavy.
So why did I ask all these people? It's not because I am vain. It's because I truly have no real concept of how I look in comparison with the rest of the world. I just wanted to know how people are seeing me because I've been assuming all along that they're thinking I look about 250 or so.
When you live your life a proud Big Beautiful Woman for so long, you get use to knowing and ACCEPTING your size - which is bigger than most. Now, I still feel that way, but this helped me to really see that I am blending in more than I ever have. The weights people quoted are "normal" people weights for the most part - something I have no real frame of reference with.
When Mark and I were talking about my weight, he said that he and I now weigh the same. He's a lot taller than me and he's a bean pole. I am so use to weighing more than men, that it kind of freaked me out to think that I will soon weigh less than him. I also weigh less than Chris. He said he weighs 220 or so. I cannot wait until I weigh less than my husband! I can wear his shirts - but to physically weigh less than him will be a mind trip! I still have a good 20 or so pounds before that happens.
One last thing: As Mark and I talked, he pointed out a woman on the dance floor who just looked average size to me. He said, "You may be just a tad bigger than her - but for the most part, you are the same size." I was like: WHAT?!
I looked at her and couldn't believe it. She just seemed like a "normal" person - not too fat and not too thin. She looked great. She is someone I would have looked at when I was pre-op and I would think, "I would give anything to be that size."
Later that night, I looked at myself in the mirror as I was dancing. I could see what he meant. I did just blend in with the people around me. I'm not skinny, but I am no longer one of the biggest there. I am just happily in the middle.
You know, I've seen myself in that mirror so many times for several years now. It's weird to see a smaller me dancing in that reflection. I feel so happy and blessed. Thank You God!
Two non-scale victories
In the beginning of this journey, I had so many non-scale victories that I listed them. These days, I don't get as many. So, when I do, I like to mention them. I have two to share...
1. I can wrap our big bath towel all the around me and it doesn't gap open at the bottom. Granted, the towels are big, but I haven't been able to do this until now. I was trying on a regular basis, but I had forgot to do so for a while. So, when I tried it this week and it finally fit, I was thrilled!!
2. I received a Spiegel catalog in the mail the other day. Before, I would flip through the pages and get frustrated because I couldn't fit into the clothes I wanted. Sure, they offer plus-sizes in some clothing, but it never failed that the really cool and flashy stuff was not plus-size.
This time, I instinctively felt that same frustration growing as I flipped through - as the clothes are especially awesome this time. I looked at the sizes and saw that all go up to size 18. It then hit me - I can wear any one of these outfits from Spiegel if I wanted to!!! Sure, they all might not look great on my shape; but, my point is, the sizes will fit regardless, as I am a 16 easily in most clothes! I couldn't believe it!
It really hit me that, when I hit goal weight and settle there, I am finally going to be able to invest in one kick-ass wardrobe!!! I will be able to dress like the real me wants to dress. Before, I was basically limited to how Lane Bryant/The Avenue/Fashion Bug/Catherine's/Walmart wanted me to dress. At goal, I will be able to wear whatever outfit I like from whatever store - and there are thousands of stores out there - not just 10 or less that truly cater to plus-sizes.
It is so tempting to drop several hundred dollars and buy a new wardrobe from Spiegel now just because I can. My poor wardrobe at the moment is so limited. I am wearing the same five or so outfits each week. I just can't invest in clothes now obviously because I hope to at least get down to a size 12/14 at least by the time I am done losing weight.
It just keeps getting better and better!!
64% less
I figured out this week that I have lost 64% of my excess weight! When I started this journey, I told myself that if I could lose 65%, I would consider this a success. Well, I am here already and I still have 10 more months or so to lose some more with this tool. Yay!
Right now, with where my current weight is, I am on track to lose about 86% of my excess weight - putting me at a weight of 170 after 18 months. That's definitely something I could live with!! Sure, I my goal is 159 and I will work to get there. However, even if all is said and done and I am at 170 and no less, I will be thrilled beyond words!
If you want to chart your progress or, if you haven't had the surgery but would like to see what kind of weight you could lose with gastric bypass, please visit: http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/postopplanner.phtml
***
Ok I am done now. I've been writing on this off and on for three hours. It's time to get it uploaded. God bless all of us on this journey. :-)
P.S. Diana: I tried harder to keep the typos to a minimum, but I am sure I left a few for you to find. I always gotta make sure you're reading! ;-) Love ya, my favorite twin!
posted by Melissa :-) @ 3:16 PM
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