Post-Op Day 226: Here I am!
Sorry I've been absent all week. It's been a wild one.
I am so happy to say that Discovery is home and the mission was an overwhelming success!! My nerves are completely shot though. Man, talk about a tense two weeks!
Monday morning I was at work around 1 a.m. for the landing that didn't happen. So, I had to turn right around and be in Tuesday morning super early too. I did some work from home starting at 2 a.m. and came to work at 4 a.m. I was doing writing/editing support for the www.nasa.gov website for landing.
Taking control
Throughout the whole mission, I was feeling very out of control of my eating. It's not that I was overeating at meals - my portions were still fairly small. Instead, it was the frequency in which I was eating. I found myself grazing a lot - especially on simple carbs.
I had this constant inner feeling of disarray and chaos - it reminded me of how I felt pre-op. It felt as if I couldn't get my focus or my arms around my head hunger. The frustration from it was overwhelming. I think I've been gradually feeling this way since the end of June, but it really hit me during mission.
So, I decided I needed to take control again of my life and use my tool to the best of its abilities. Therefore, on Wednesday, I cut down my food intake significantly. I am still eating enough (three meals and two small snacks). I have just worked to eliminate a lot of mindless grazing - no more "A small handful of this, and little handful of that."
Also on Wednesday, I started writing down everything I put into my mouth. That helped a lot. The self-accountability is great. To add even more accountability, Deandra and I are going to start swapping our daily meal logs so we can show what we put into our mouths.
With all this said, I am happy to report that I'm already reaping the benefits of my efforts in a great way!!
On Tuesday, my weigh-in was 219 - two pounds higher than I had been. Wednesday it was 216.5! I was excited about that alone - but it gets even better. Yesterday I weighed in at 214.5 and this morning I was 213.5!!!! Yay! So my total loss is 110.5 pounds!!! GO ME! It was so exciting to see 213.5 on the scale!
I feel so much better and in control again! I don't feel as defeated. I find that I am not as hungry physically as I thought I would be. Most of it was definitely head hunger and stress eating. Sure, I am struggling inside some with the desire to graze; but, I am finding the success on the scale is such a good deterrent! hehe
Putting things into perspective
Earlier in the week, Toni and I were talking about our weigh-ins via e-mail. I shared the following thoughts with her and I want to share them here too:
When I first stepped on the scale it goes all over the place. It jumped up to 280 for a split second. I gasped to see that number again and realized how damn nice it is to see 219, 217 or 216.5 on the scale.
Sometimes you get so focused on losing weight you forget where you came from. I remember when I started, the thought of seeing 280 was a blessing! Now, seeing the small numbers reminds me I have come soooooooooooooooooo far and I need to appreciate that. Maybe that's the lesson God's teaching me right now - to stop and enjoy what I have, you know?
THANK YOU GOD for teaching me valuable lessons and for helping guide my path to success.
I am so happy to say that Discovery is home and the mission was an overwhelming success!! My nerves are completely shot though. Man, talk about a tense two weeks!
Monday morning I was at work around 1 a.m. for the landing that didn't happen. So, I had to turn right around and be in Tuesday morning super early too. I did some work from home starting at 2 a.m. and came to work at 4 a.m. I was doing writing/editing support for the www.nasa.gov website for landing.
Taking control
Throughout the whole mission, I was feeling very out of control of my eating. It's not that I was overeating at meals - my portions were still fairly small. Instead, it was the frequency in which I was eating. I found myself grazing a lot - especially on simple carbs.
I had this constant inner feeling of disarray and chaos - it reminded me of how I felt pre-op. It felt as if I couldn't get my focus or my arms around my head hunger. The frustration from it was overwhelming. I think I've been gradually feeling this way since the end of June, but it really hit me during mission.
So, I decided I needed to take control again of my life and use my tool to the best of its abilities. Therefore, on Wednesday, I cut down my food intake significantly. I am still eating enough (three meals and two small snacks). I have just worked to eliminate a lot of mindless grazing - no more "A small handful of this, and little handful of that."
Also on Wednesday, I started writing down everything I put into my mouth. That helped a lot. The self-accountability is great. To add even more accountability, Deandra and I are going to start swapping our daily meal logs so we can show what we put into our mouths.
With all this said, I am happy to report that I'm already reaping the benefits of my efforts in a great way!!
On Tuesday, my weigh-in was 219 - two pounds higher than I had been. Wednesday it was 216.5! I was excited about that alone - but it gets even better. Yesterday I weighed in at 214.5 and this morning I was 213.5!!!! Yay! So my total loss is 110.5 pounds!!! GO ME! It was so exciting to see 213.5 on the scale!
I feel so much better and in control again! I don't feel as defeated. I find that I am not as hungry physically as I thought I would be. Most of it was definitely head hunger and stress eating. Sure, I am struggling inside some with the desire to graze; but, I am finding the success on the scale is such a good deterrent! hehe
Putting things into perspective
Earlier in the week, Toni and I were talking about our weigh-ins via e-mail. I shared the following thoughts with her and I want to share them here too:
When I first stepped on the scale it goes all over the place. It jumped up to 280 for a split second. I gasped to see that number again and realized how damn nice it is to see 219, 217 or 216.5 on the scale.
Sometimes you get so focused on losing weight you forget where you came from. I remember when I started, the thought of seeing 280 was a blessing! Now, seeing the small numbers reminds me I have come soooooooooooooooooo far and I need to appreciate that. Maybe that's the lesson God's teaching me right now - to stop and enjoy what I have, you know?
THANK YOU GOD for teaching me valuable lessons and for helping guide my path to success.
posted by Melissa :-) @ 7:05 AM
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