Post-Op Day 46 - Back to normalcy!

I made it back to a form of normalcy! After six difficult weeks, I was finally able to eat soft/pureed foods on Wednesday. And, believe it or not, it was anti-climatic. haha

Since I remembered I could experiment, I had already put some food back into my mouth. The reality is, though, I find myself afraid to eat. I am also finding it very hard to get in enough food - especially protein. But - that's ok - I can manage! :-)

I hadn't been posting in my online support group either - I've been bad. So, to save me from typing it twice, I will just post here the update I gave them:

Hey Gang!

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry I've been so quiet! (or has
that been a good thing? haha)

Before having the surgery, my life was go, go, go. For a morbidly-
obese person, I sure hustled my big tushie a lot. After the surgery,
it brought my busy life to a screeching halt. Well, I've finally
started to get some energy, so I am back at it - and trying to make
up for lost time.

I am doing pretty good. My weight loss hasn't been as rapid as some
(41 pounds in 46 days), but for me it's pretty dang good. Everyone is
finally starting to see a difference in me. I am still stuck in my
original size clothes - 26/28. I am wearing a few 22/24s I used to
wear. However, I went to Lane Bryant yesterday and none of the 22/24s
fit. It really bummed me out. I thought I would be able to wear
smaller clothes after 41 pounds.

For me, it's always been this way, and I think that's why I got
discouraged doing Weight Watchers before. I would work week after
week and still not go down a size. It would just frustrate me so
much, I would give up. My body is big but pretty proportioned, so it
takes a little off here, and a little there. There's no one big
chunk. I know in the end this will be blip on the radar, but I just
wanted to acknowledge my frustrations at this point.

It was soooooooooooooo wonderful to graduate to soft/pureed foods.
However, I have found I am scared to eat. I don't want to hurt myself
in any way. I am getting better about it though. Like everyone else,
I have to say food is no longer the same. There's little enjoyment in
eating now. And that's a GREAT thing to me! :-)

I think what was even more wonderful was being released to exercise.
When I learned I had no restrictions, I felt like I had truly crossed
over to being 'normal' again! It made me feel better knowing Dr. N
thinks my insides are healed enough to bend and stretch.

I returned to the Y yesterday and boy did it feel good. I rode 3
miles on the exercise bike and then I lifted weights on the machines.
The machines I use have a computer on them that tracks how much I
lift, how many reps, etc. I cut the amount lifted in half from the
time I was there last. I can't believe how much I used to lift. Even
at half, I pushed myself and couldn't do as many reps. But, it felt
sooo good working my muscles.

The only downside is that it, in conjunction with a terribly
stressful work week, zapped my energy entirely. I took an 8-
hour "nap" yesterday. I got up for 3 hours and then slept for 7 more.
I guess my body needed it, huh?

Today I am feeling sluggish. I am actually going to have to skip
today's support group meeting. I don't have it in me for the four-
hour excursion (drive an hour, sit two and drive another hour). I'm
sorry. I hate that I seem to bomb out on the support-group weekends.
I sure hope my total energy returns soon.

Other than that, I am doing just fine. I've not dumped or thrown up
yet (knock on wood) and my gall bladder is behaving itself (knock on
wood again).

I miss you all! I am so far behind on posts, I doubt I can catch up.
If I've missed something, PLEASE let me know!!! Otherwise, I am going
to try to keep up from here on out. It's hard at times, because I
can't access the group from work. The government's kinda picky about
how we use our computers. Go figure. haha

PLEASE know I think of you all every day and I am so thankful to have
you all for such wonderful friends.

I love you all!
Melissa

In closing...these are exciting times for me and my life is changing day-by-day. I feel so blessed to have been given this opportunity and, while I do want to also acknowledge my frustrations, I never want to dwell on perceived negatives. How many times in life do we get do-overs? What a wonderful thing. It's worth all the hard stuff up front. Life just gets better each and every day.

God, thank You for this amazing tool. Please bless each person on this journey - pre-op and post-op.