Post-Op Day 258: Back to the grind
Well, I made it through my first day back to work. It was great to see people, but the day was stressful for a variety of issues. Lots of drama going on. I hate drama. I like things fun and nice. I pray this drama passes soon.
When I was walking in, I saw my reflection in a long series of windows. I was on the phone with my Mom, so I just casually glanced over. I was floored to see myself! I looked so thin! I'm not thin by any stretch of the imagination, but compared to where I use to be I am. I guess since I haven't really seen myself in a week or so, the shock of seeing myself again was there. haha Regardless, it was a nice surprise!
My deep dark confession
Last night was low-key. Scott had a rough day too, so we spent some time talking and then watching wrestling. haha That's right - I am a wrestling fan. :-)
In my life, I've gone through cycles with wrestling. When I was a kid, I was nuts for it. Then I thought it was stupid.
When I was in my mid- to late-20s, I started watching it again. My coworker at the time loved it and I would laugh at her. Then I realized, "How can I laugh at something and I don't even watch it to know what I am laughing at?"
So, I gave it a try and got hooked again. A group of us would meet weekly for our wrestling nights. It was a lot of fun actually.
When I moved down here, I got Scott hooked. We'd also enjoy our two wrestling nights. And yes, I know it's fake. haha Actually, I admire the writing it takes to script WWE two nights a week and then some. Story lines are difficult; so when a good story line happens, it's a cool thing to watch.
I guess that's why we stopped watching. The story lines were no longer clever. Some of their big talent had left and their popularity was down. We just moved on. However, we have felt a void because that was something we really enjoyed watching together. I am a sports nut and Scott isn't. So we don't really have any other thing like that to share.
Lately we've been catching it again. It's been hard to get into the stories and learn the new talent, but it's getting better. I've also loved wrestling because it helps me get some aggression out. I know that sounds weird, but it's kinda like stress relief watching all that, laughing, feeling the emotions that a good story lines gets out of you. haha Last night I needed it and it worked. It put me in a really good mood.
So that's my deep dark confession - I am a closet wrestling fan. ;-)
Fighting the urge
I am glad that I leaned on wrestling for the stress relief because I was really struggling with the urge to stuff my face yesterday right after work. I was in Walgreens and I SO WANTED to just buy some cookies. I even stood there and looked at the sugar contents thinking, "How many of these could I have?"
But, in the end, I resisted. I bought myself a bottled water and left. I knew that I didn't want to start a bad habit. I've worked hard on managing my stress eating. It gets tough sometimes to stay focused, but you have to tough it out regardless.
As the days fly by, my hunger returns more and more and my pouch is able to accommodate more and more. In the first six months it was easy to not stress eat because I physically couldn't. Now I think I could, but I don't want to. Still, in the past, even if I didn't want to, I did.
So, I have to constantly be on alert for times like yesterday where it seems harmless to pick up a small pack of cookies. I know it leads to a spiraling effect. When I feel weak like that, I have to fight those urges and not be weak.
This is still a life-long battle. Don't ever be fooled into thinking your urges and coping techniques will magically vanish forever. You have to respect your tool but also respect yourself enough to practice new behaviors. When you slip up, you have to get yourself back on track. And, like a recovering alcoholic or drug addict, we food addicts must always take our lives one day at a time, one step at a time.
I am proud and happy that I took positive steps. I even got a great reward (even though it would have been worth it if I got no reward at all). My scale was down 2 pounds this morning!! I am now standing at 203.5 lbs.!! OMG I am getting closer and closer to Onederland! I am so thrilled!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My total weight loss is now 120.5 lbs.! I cannot believe it! Since I really started cracking down and eating better on Sept. 9, I've lost 15.5 lbs.! Woo hoo!!!
I was stuck at 205.5 for about a week. I guess me switching up my schedule yesterday helped me shed some weight. Whatever the reason, I am so grateful!
***
Ok I need to run. God please bless all of us on this crazy, wonderful journey - no matter what stage we're in.
When I was walking in, I saw my reflection in a long series of windows. I was on the phone with my Mom, so I just casually glanced over. I was floored to see myself! I looked so thin! I'm not thin by any stretch of the imagination, but compared to where I use to be I am. I guess since I haven't really seen myself in a week or so, the shock of seeing myself again was there. haha Regardless, it was a nice surprise!
My deep dark confession
Last night was low-key. Scott had a rough day too, so we spent some time talking and then watching wrestling. haha That's right - I am a wrestling fan. :-)
In my life, I've gone through cycles with wrestling. When I was a kid, I was nuts for it. Then I thought it was stupid.
When I was in my mid- to late-20s, I started watching it again. My coworker at the time loved it and I would laugh at her. Then I realized, "How can I laugh at something and I don't even watch it to know what I am laughing at?"
So, I gave it a try and got hooked again. A group of us would meet weekly for our wrestling nights. It was a lot of fun actually.
When I moved down here, I got Scott hooked. We'd also enjoy our two wrestling nights. And yes, I know it's fake. haha Actually, I admire the writing it takes to script WWE two nights a week and then some. Story lines are difficult; so when a good story line happens, it's a cool thing to watch.
I guess that's why we stopped watching. The story lines were no longer clever. Some of their big talent had left and their popularity was down. We just moved on. However, we have felt a void because that was something we really enjoyed watching together. I am a sports nut and Scott isn't. So we don't really have any other thing like that to share.
Lately we've been catching it again. It's been hard to get into the stories and learn the new talent, but it's getting better. I've also loved wrestling because it helps me get some aggression out. I know that sounds weird, but it's kinda like stress relief watching all that, laughing, feeling the emotions that a good story lines gets out of you. haha Last night I needed it and it worked. It put me in a really good mood.
So that's my deep dark confession - I am a closet wrestling fan. ;-)
Fighting the urge
I am glad that I leaned on wrestling for the stress relief because I was really struggling with the urge to stuff my face yesterday right after work. I was in Walgreens and I SO WANTED to just buy some cookies. I even stood there and looked at the sugar contents thinking, "How many of these could I have?"
But, in the end, I resisted. I bought myself a bottled water and left. I knew that I didn't want to start a bad habit. I've worked hard on managing my stress eating. It gets tough sometimes to stay focused, but you have to tough it out regardless.
As the days fly by, my hunger returns more and more and my pouch is able to accommodate more and more. In the first six months it was easy to not stress eat because I physically couldn't. Now I think I could, but I don't want to. Still, in the past, even if I didn't want to, I did.
So, I have to constantly be on alert for times like yesterday where it seems harmless to pick up a small pack of cookies. I know it leads to a spiraling effect. When I feel weak like that, I have to fight those urges and not be weak.
This is still a life-long battle. Don't ever be fooled into thinking your urges and coping techniques will magically vanish forever. You have to respect your tool but also respect yourself enough to practice new behaviors. When you slip up, you have to get yourself back on track. And, like a recovering alcoholic or drug addict, we food addicts must always take our lives one day at a time, one step at a time.
I am proud and happy that I took positive steps. I even got a great reward (even though it would have been worth it if I got no reward at all). My scale was down 2 pounds this morning!! I am now standing at 203.5 lbs.!! OMG I am getting closer and closer to Onederland! I am so thrilled!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My total weight loss is now 120.5 lbs.! I cannot believe it! Since I really started cracking down and eating better on Sept. 9, I've lost 15.5 lbs.! Woo hoo!!!
I was stuck at 205.5 for about a week. I guess me switching up my schedule yesterday helped me shed some weight. Whatever the reason, I am so grateful!
***
Ok I need to run. God please bless all of us on this crazy, wonderful journey - no matter what stage we're in.
posted by Melissa :-) @ 6:33 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home