Post-Op Day 245: Getting ready to clear another hurdle

Good morning...

I am moving at a more leisurely pace than usual. I have an appointment with my surgeon this morning at 10 a.m., so I have a little more time to get moving than normal.

Well, tomorrow is my surgery. I am trying not to freak out, but I've had my panic-attack moments. I am just dreading it - all of it, big and small. What are some of the things that concern me?

• Not being able to eat or drink after midnight (I am more concerned about not drinking obviously)
• Waiting for the surgery to happen tomorrow (I tend to get overwhelmed and having panic attacks)
• Getting an IV (nurses usually have a hard time running them on me usually)
• Going under anesthesia
• The complexity of the surgery (the tumor is around my facial nerve)
• Waking up and finding out if I have facial paralysis (how scary is that not knowing?!)
• The fear of pain
• Hoping the hospital has some low-sugar, low-carb liquids and soft foods for me (would hate for my first dumping episode to happen there!)
• Being in the hospital overnight (I get antsy and bored really easily)
• Having a drain to deal with
• Having to sleep sitting up for a while
• Not being able to wash my hair as well as I like, if at all
• The recovery process and being out of normal life activities for a week or two
• Having a large scar running down the side of my neck
• The facial numbness and the pain in trying to eat
• Waiting for the pathology report and hoping there are no surprises waiting for me

UGH...

I have faith God will take care of me. I just need to remember my favorite phrase: "Do not fear tomorrow; God is already there."

Katrina

This is absolutely the most horrible thing to watch on TV. I pray God protects and blesses each person who is affected.

This is also scary for me because I live in the Houston area - a city that is also vulnerable to hurricanes. Most people from this area are use to the idea of living in a hurricane-prone area. I myself, being from Indiana, am not use to this. It is horrible to think that sometime we might have to go through all this.

It's really made me think about what I would want to save here in the house and what I am prepared to lose. Luckily, Scott's parents would be our destination. I cannot imagine if you had nowhere to go. But the thought of losing my job - even if it is temporary - is scary. I just feel fortunate we have an extensive support system with his family and mine. I mean, if worse came to worse, we could eventually go to Indiana and live.

OK enough of thinking about all this...I've got enough to worry about at this moment.

The scale is moving again

I was thrilled yesterday to see the scale reading 208.5. I was even more thrilled to see today that it read 208! I am so excited that I am 9 pounds from being in the 100s, and I have only 49 more pounds to reach my goal weight!!

I realize that over the next week or so, my weight is going to fluctuate like crazy. First, I will be pumped full of IV fluids, so I am sure I will gain. Then, after several days of liquids and soft foods, I could very well lose some from that. Finally, once I return to normal eating, I will probably gain a little. So, I need to read this when I feel a little crazy from the scale. :-)

I'm outta here...

Ok I need to get ready to visit the surgeon and go to work. Sorry this is a little blah. I am not usually this down. I know it will all work itself out. I just gotta keep pressing forward.

Onward and upward, Butterfly!