Oh wow - I received a letter about my writing!!!

I am so excited! I got the best email from an Obesity Help member I've never met or talked to! She read a motivational piece I posted on the December 2004 message board and felt compelled to write me! How cool is that??

Below is what I wrote to a woman who was extremely frustrated because she kept falling off the wagon:

I think most of us can relate to what you're feeling. What you wrote reminded me of a motivational piece I wrote for a book I hope to someday publish for those of us who have had Weight Loss Surgery. I wrote it a while back and I just happened to re-read it a few days ago and it helped me regain my focus. Maybe it can help you too. I will share it here:

“Don’t confuse disappointment with disaster.”
Author unknown

Just as we experience many joys as we travel down the road to better health, we also face some disappointments in our weight-loss journey.

Perhaps we overeat and are disappointed in our behavior. Perhaps we get on the scale and are disappointed in our results. Perhaps we can’t get motivated to exercise and we are disappointed in our lack of effort.

To think we will live this new lifestyle without encountering some low points along the way is unrealistic. However, those unrealistic expectations are what caused us to gain the weight in the first place and they will cause many to quit before they reach their ultimate goal.

We know we cannot walk the tightrope without falling off a time or two – yet we still demand that perfection of ourselves. We set ourselves up for failure because it’s an easy way out.
Don’t confuse disappointment with disaster.

Stop thinking every minor setback is a reason to quit. A gain is not a reason to quit. “Just a two-pound loss” this week is not reason to quit. Missing your mini-goal this week by 5 or .5 pounds is not reason to quit. Binging for an hour, a day, a week or a month is not reason to quit.

These reasons are not disasters – but quitting because of these reasons is disastrous. How are you ever going to get healthier and fit by stopping? Following your weight-loss program half-way is better than not at all. And, never forget, you can always, ALWAYS get back on track as quick as you got off of it. Just stop what you are doing and replace negative behaviors with positive ones. Take control of yourself.

When you are faced with disappointment just know that it will all work out in the end if you keep your mind focused and your body moving forward. Success will ultimately come if you just keep pushing. You have to want this more than anything else.

When you are faced with disappointment, you first have to address it. Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, it can be hurtful. Yes, it makes you feel like quitting sometimes. Don’t bottle up your emotions or try to push them to the back of your mind in hopes you are hiding them. Feel them. Explore why you are disappointed. Talk it out with yourself and with anyone else you feel comfortable sharing with.

Once you have brought your disappointment into the light, you will see it is not as intimidating as it was in the dark corners of your mind. You will see you CAN overcome it – it’s not bigger than your desire to succeed. Yes, it is very real but it is not as disastrous as you imagined it to be.

After you have addressed your feelings, then work toward a solution to overcome the disappointment. If you binged, figure out how to avoid another one. What triggered you? If you gained, figure out what might have caused it. If it is an unexplained gain, just strengthen yourself mentally to realize you need non-scale victories to show progress until the scale catches up with your good habits.

Don’t confuse disappointment with disaster.

Be prepared for the bumps in the road and be flexible enough to deal with them. Take time for yourself – feel the disappointment and then move on to bigger and better things. Just remember, the only disaster would be if you gave up on something that holds so much promise of happiness and health for you.

Mental exercise for the day:Identify some past disappointments you’ve had. Did you work through them and come out a better person, or did you throw in the towel and quit? How can you better deal with the disappointments that are sure to come in your weight-loss journey?
Be sure to remember the good when dealing with the bad. Make a list of all the positives you have encountered in your journey. It will help keep it all in perspective.

Have a focused day!

***

Below is the email I received today about what I wrote:

Hi i was so inspired by your message and see that you plan to publish a book one day. I was just wondering if you can put me on your list of being one of your first customers to buy your book. You are very inspirational. I printed your message and put it on my desk to read often. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I can't type too much now because i am at work but i wanted to let you know i want to read your book. Nicole

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OMG Can you believe that???????

This is what I wrote in return:

Nicole - You absolutely made my DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so very much for your wonderfully sweet email!!!!!

I needed to read this. I get so overwhelmed at the thought of writing my book, though I want to so much. I think I am overwhelmed by the task because I actually have a vision to write two first off - and a few more later. I want to call this collection of books the Butterfly Chronicles.

The first book is for all full-figured women and it's about loving yourself as-is. I don't think you can get to the point where you can truly change if you don't love yourself as-is. You might go through the motions, but you won't accomplish the true transformation until you change how you view yourself and LOVE yourself. I want to call it "Spread Your Wings Butterfly! Finding and Loving You."

The second book complements the first. Its title will be "Fly, Fly Beautiful Butterfly: Daily Thoughts for Those Undergoing Metamorphosis."

The target audiences are primarily pre-op and post-op bariatric patients; however, those who have lost, or are in the process of losing, a significant amount of weight can benefit from most of the writings.

These will be daily motivational writings, much like the one you read on the message board. The focus will be moving past a “fat mentality” to embrace life and live it to the fullest.

With both books, the style of writing will be sassy, sometimes silly, and fun but always poignant and direct. These books will speak the truth in love.

So there you have it. I have the blueprint and some writings. Now I just need to get it into motion and find a publisher.

I have other ideas too - like creating a website and creating the Butterfly Society, which consists of people like you and me who are going through the metamorphoses of change.

Sorry to ramble on. See what happens when you write someone like me! hehe Again, thank you Nicole for your words!

So tell me - where are you in your journey????

Hugs, my beautiful friend!
xoxox
Melissa

***
Ok so now I am so excited! I really, really do feel inspired to write my books. I just feel so overwhelmed by it all. I have an outline for the main book, and I have about 20 or more daily motivational pieces written already. Coming up with topics for 365 days is hard. I have about 250 topics though already.

I just can't break it all down very well in my head. I need a manager. haha Plus, I am not quite sure about how to get my book published. I understand how to freelance articles; getting a publisher is another ballgame.

Regardless...this has inspired me to try and gain some focus. I want to share my writings with more people. I feel God has inspired me to write them because, gosh knows, when I read what write (like above), I cannot believe that came from me.

Ok I will stop now. :-)