Post-Op Day 117 - Moving right along!
I thought I would give a quick update…the scale is moving again! Yay! It’s been in .5 daily increments but that’s quite ok with me! When I see progress, I am thrilled! I am now sitting at 251, which is -73 pounds! I am feeling great and just loving the ride!
When I stop to think about it, I can’t believe how much I’ve lost in less than four months. Going at this day by day, you tend to lose sight of the big picture. You just want to see that scale move. When it doesn’t, it’s scary! The big picture is the last thing you can see sometimes. So, what a thrill it is when you are able to step back and see how much you’ve journeyed in just 16 weeks. You realize that this time, things are different.
I look at my weekly records and think, “OMG how did I lose so much weight so fast and not feel and look sickly? It’s a miracle!” It truly is. I never dreamed in my life that I could get the bulk of this weight off. I knew I could lose some; but to lose a significant amount of weight like this truly is a blessing I am so grateful for. I am so glad I didn’t buy into the misinformation or let my fears or stubbornness hold me back from doing this!
Self-image
Yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work, I was having a body dysmorphia moment. To me, I looked the same size as my starting weight. Obviously I know I’m not, but your mind has this way of playng tricks on you – especially since I am not dropping sizes like most do.
Instead of getting bent out of shape about it, I just told myself, “On days like this, I always get just the right compliments. Hang tight and don’t stress.”
Sure enough, one of my coworkers looked at me and said, “Wow you’ve even lost weight over the weekend. You look smaller again! You’re just shrinking like crazy!” And, as I was walking away from my boss, she said, “Melissa – you’re just getting smaller and smaller. From behind, you can see how you are just getting narrower. You look amazing!”
So, my advice to those who struggle with dysmorphia is to override your natural thoughts. You have to rise above them and tell yourself that what those thoughts are telling you simply aren’t reality. Then, you need to either replace the thoughts with positive ones or simply tell yourself to hang tough and don’t stress. If you don’t work to overcome the bad self-talk, you’re never going to let yourself enjoy the many great aspects of this wonderful journey. For me, it’s a constant battle to do that. But, yesterday was my first step in just letting go of the negativity and just enjoying the day for what it is – another day I get to spend living my new life.
Hair hair everywhere!
Yup! It’s happening to me too. Like most on this journey, my hair started falling out right at three months and now, at almost four months, it’s realllllly shedding. I figure I lose about 100 hairs a day. For someone who has baby fine hair, it’s frightening.
Even though I’ve lost a lot, everyone swears to me they can’t tell. I have to say, when I do my hair, I can’t tell how much I’ve lost either. I hope it stays that way. If it doesn’t, I will be like most and cut my hair short to get through this time period.
It is very disheartening to feeling strands of hair in your hands as your shower, put in hair products and brush your hair. I have platinum blonde hair, so you can see it covering my dark tops. It’s not a good thing, but I refuse to let it get me down. This too shall pass. And, as Dr. Naaman’s nurse Pam said, she’s never seen a bald skinny person come through their doors yet. Haha
Pumping iron
After not visiting the Y for over a week, I went last night. It’s amazing how much easier it is to ride the recumbent bike for a half hour. I can’t imagine when I get more of this weight off how much more I will be able to do aerobically! I am taking it slow, but I dream of that time!
I also lifted weights. I’m finding my legs aren’t as powerful as they use to be. Then I realized that, on a daily basis, I am carrying around 70-plus less pounds than I was four months ago. By not replacing that by working out, I am sure I am not as strong. Isn’t it amazing how, when you’re obese, you carrying around tremendous amounts of weight constantly? We should be muscular not lumpy. Haha
It felt great working out, and I look forward to reshaping my body through exercise. As much as I don’t do it, I truly do love going to the gym. I am working on reprioritizing my life so I can have a regular workout routine. With return to flight for the Space Shuttle coming up in less than a month, I know it will be tough, but I will give it my best.
My Support Team
Finally, I want to talk a little about my support system. I have to say that I am probably the luckiest person on the world.
I have an amazing husband who is always there to encourage me when I get the blues. He always listens to my victories and my struggles. He is my rock. He’s always thought I was sexy, and he keeps on reminding me that his feelings haven’t changed. He’s my biggest fan and I am his. Thank you Scott. I love you so much, and I am so grateful for your everlasting support. You're the best.
If that weren’t enough, I have my parents and Granny who root me on all the way from Indiana. I have a fabulous counselor who gently helps me work through the many emotions you go through when you cut the emotional connection with food. I have a fantastic support group that misses me when I’m gone.
I have the most amazing collection of coworkers who, on a day-to-day basis, constantly encourage me, listen to me and tell me specifically the changes they are seeing. I have my wonderful friend Liz who is always there to listen, provide her knowledge and to make me laugh. On top of that, I’ve got other friends that don’t keep close tabs but do pop into my life from time to time and ask for an update.
All of these factors combined make the most amazing victory team for me. I have managed to keep negative energy out of my life. For those who are pre-op, trust me – negative energy has no place in this journey. You’re already emotionally fragile for many reasons. You must have a cocoon of love surrounding you. Even if you only have one positive person in your life and the rest are negative – bask in that positive person’s light and shun the darkness of the rest. If you have nobody, write to me. I will be your positive light. You need it. Trust me on this one.
For those who love and support me – THANK YOU!
***
Ok…that’s it for me. I need to go walk the dog and get ready for work.
God please bless me and keep me healthy. I am so grateful for the health You’ve given me. Also, please bless everyone on this wild, wonderful journey and keep them safe and healthy too!
When I stop to think about it, I can’t believe how much I’ve lost in less than four months. Going at this day by day, you tend to lose sight of the big picture. You just want to see that scale move. When it doesn’t, it’s scary! The big picture is the last thing you can see sometimes. So, what a thrill it is when you are able to step back and see how much you’ve journeyed in just 16 weeks. You realize that this time, things are different.
I look at my weekly records and think, “OMG how did I lose so much weight so fast and not feel and look sickly? It’s a miracle!” It truly is. I never dreamed in my life that I could get the bulk of this weight off. I knew I could lose some; but to lose a significant amount of weight like this truly is a blessing I am so grateful for. I am so glad I didn’t buy into the misinformation or let my fears or stubbornness hold me back from doing this!
Self-image
Yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work, I was having a body dysmorphia moment. To me, I looked the same size as my starting weight. Obviously I know I’m not, but your mind has this way of playng tricks on you – especially since I am not dropping sizes like most do.
Instead of getting bent out of shape about it, I just told myself, “On days like this, I always get just the right compliments. Hang tight and don’t stress.”
Sure enough, one of my coworkers looked at me and said, “Wow you’ve even lost weight over the weekend. You look smaller again! You’re just shrinking like crazy!” And, as I was walking away from my boss, she said, “Melissa – you’re just getting smaller and smaller. From behind, you can see how you are just getting narrower. You look amazing!”
So, my advice to those who struggle with dysmorphia is to override your natural thoughts. You have to rise above them and tell yourself that what those thoughts are telling you simply aren’t reality. Then, you need to either replace the thoughts with positive ones or simply tell yourself to hang tough and don’t stress. If you don’t work to overcome the bad self-talk, you’re never going to let yourself enjoy the many great aspects of this wonderful journey. For me, it’s a constant battle to do that. But, yesterday was my first step in just letting go of the negativity and just enjoying the day for what it is – another day I get to spend living my new life.
Hair hair everywhere!
Yup! It’s happening to me too. Like most on this journey, my hair started falling out right at three months and now, at almost four months, it’s realllllly shedding. I figure I lose about 100 hairs a day. For someone who has baby fine hair, it’s frightening.
Even though I’ve lost a lot, everyone swears to me they can’t tell. I have to say, when I do my hair, I can’t tell how much I’ve lost either. I hope it stays that way. If it doesn’t, I will be like most and cut my hair short to get through this time period.
It is very disheartening to feeling strands of hair in your hands as your shower, put in hair products and brush your hair. I have platinum blonde hair, so you can see it covering my dark tops. It’s not a good thing, but I refuse to let it get me down. This too shall pass. And, as Dr. Naaman’s nurse Pam said, she’s never seen a bald skinny person come through their doors yet. Haha
Pumping iron
After not visiting the Y for over a week, I went last night. It’s amazing how much easier it is to ride the recumbent bike for a half hour. I can’t imagine when I get more of this weight off how much more I will be able to do aerobically! I am taking it slow, but I dream of that time!
I also lifted weights. I’m finding my legs aren’t as powerful as they use to be. Then I realized that, on a daily basis, I am carrying around 70-plus less pounds than I was four months ago. By not replacing that by working out, I am sure I am not as strong. Isn’t it amazing how, when you’re obese, you carrying around tremendous amounts of weight constantly? We should be muscular not lumpy. Haha
It felt great working out, and I look forward to reshaping my body through exercise. As much as I don’t do it, I truly do love going to the gym. I am working on reprioritizing my life so I can have a regular workout routine. With return to flight for the Space Shuttle coming up in less than a month, I know it will be tough, but I will give it my best.
My Support Team
Finally, I want to talk a little about my support system. I have to say that I am probably the luckiest person on the world.
I have an amazing husband who is always there to encourage me when I get the blues. He always listens to my victories and my struggles. He is my rock. He’s always thought I was sexy, and he keeps on reminding me that his feelings haven’t changed. He’s my biggest fan and I am his. Thank you Scott. I love you so much, and I am so grateful for your everlasting support. You're the best.
If that weren’t enough, I have my parents and Granny who root me on all the way from Indiana. I have a fabulous counselor who gently helps me work through the many emotions you go through when you cut the emotional connection with food. I have a fantastic support group that misses me when I’m gone.
I have the most amazing collection of coworkers who, on a day-to-day basis, constantly encourage me, listen to me and tell me specifically the changes they are seeing. I have my wonderful friend Liz who is always there to listen, provide her knowledge and to make me laugh. On top of that, I’ve got other friends that don’t keep close tabs but do pop into my life from time to time and ask for an update.
All of these factors combined make the most amazing victory team for me. I have managed to keep negative energy out of my life. For those who are pre-op, trust me – negative energy has no place in this journey. You’re already emotionally fragile for many reasons. You must have a cocoon of love surrounding you. Even if you only have one positive person in your life and the rest are negative – bask in that positive person’s light and shun the darkness of the rest. If you have nobody, write to me. I will be your positive light. You need it. Trust me on this one.
For those who love and support me – THANK YOU!
***
Ok…that’s it for me. I need to go walk the dog and get ready for work.
God please bless me and keep me healthy. I am so grateful for the health You’ve given me. Also, please bless everyone on this wild, wonderful journey and keep them safe and healthy too!
posted by Melissa :-) @ 7:52 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home